Wow: Caps trade Captain Clark

Not the sort of move you expect a team that's currently tops in the league to make, but here goes: Chris Clark's been dealt to the Columbus Blue Jackets, along with defenseman Milan Jurcina, in exchange for Jason Chimera.

[Allen Clark, via Off-Wing Opinion]

Obviously, Clark's had his struggles the past three seasons in Washington, but he wears the C on his chest, and that means something in the NHL. But if winning's the bottom line, this move is an upgrade. Chimera, 30, has size and grit and plays with an edge the likes of which we haven't seen in Washington since Matt Cooke's departure. We gave him props by calling him a "shit-stirrer" after he knocked Ovi out of the lineup with that upper-body injury a while back.

Jurcina? Well, he was a spare part, made even more redundant by Karl Alzner's ascent to full-time duty in D.C. He showed signs of playing a more physical game starting in last year's playoffs, but ultimately it was a numbers game and Jurcina -- despite having the hardest shot on the Washington roster -- just couldn't make himself indispensable.

Chimera's signed through 2011-12 at $1.875; Clark's cap figure stood at $2.5M through next season, while Jurcina will become an unrestricted free agent after earning $1.375 this season.

The big questions now are twofold: (1) What effect does trading the team captain have on a team that's been dominant of late, and (2) Who gets the C?

As fans, we aren't privy to the interactions that go on between players behind closed doors, but all indications are that Clark was well-liked by his teammates. How could you not like a guy that shattered his face and still gutted out the rest of his shift? That cadaver bone story never gets old.

As far as who gets the C, our money's on Brooks Laich.

In the meantime, farewell Clarkie and Juice.

GMGM Playing Coy?

"With Washington creeping close to this season's $56.8 million salary cap as a result of Knuble's signing, McPhee said Knuble represented the team's biggest offseason move and that the Capitals were comfortable going into the season with Brooks Laich as the second-line center instead of trading for an established pivot."
--ESPN.com

What do you take from this? The exact opposite of what it means. GMGM plays his cards real close to the chest. An acquisition would not surprise me. In fact, based on this quote, I almost expect it.

It's Official: Fedorov Signs 2-year deal with KHL
It's been a swell ride, but it was time. With Kozlov, Brashear, and now Fedorov departing, the off-season salary shedding is going exactly as predicted.

So, umm...Fedorov is Done, Right? Right?!?!**

I keep waiting for the balls news to drop about Sergei Fedorov officially signing in Russia, and it keeps not happening. According to Fedorov’s agent Pat Brisson, negotiations are ongoing with the Caps. Is McPhee inching closer to Fedorov’s demands or vice versa? I don’t know and it makes me nervous, like I just dropped my kid off at day care and Gary Glitter introduced himself as the headmaster.

When the Caps wrapped up their season last month, Fedorov had this to say:

“I still have got some legs left and I'm still enjoying the game and I'm certainly enjoying this group of young and very talented players. I didn't think about retiring. By saying that, I would like to continue to play. With the young legs around me, it's really helpful…I haven't met with the coaches or GM yet, but I hope the feeling is mutual because I really enjoy this organization and it's an awesome city to play in, too.”

Oh Sergei how you flatter me so. Unfortunately, it’s 2009 and I’m not sure I can return the favor. Sorry homeslice.

If the rumors are true and KHL club Metallurg Magnitogorsk is offering Fedorov $3.8 million over two seasons, that’s about $2 million per season more than the Caps can and should offer (Feds made $4 million this season). As previously noted, the Caps are a few obvious summer re-signings away from having ~$52 million in salary towards the 2009-2010 salary cap. With the cap decreasing (TBA) from its current $56.7 million line, the Caps will barely be able to afford a taco let alone a washed up 40-year-old centerman. Unless we’re talkin’ Crosby’s mom’s taco, which can be had on the cheap.

And washed up is exactly what Fedorov is at this point. Let’s take a ride down the Fedorov Numbers Slide, soon debuting at a crappy Russian amusement park near you (click to enlarge):


More alarmingly, if it’s possible to have a more alarming red flag than declining games, goals, and points totals, Fedorov has become a penalty-committing machine, and killing penalties is the Caps' kryptonite. At this point in his career only Crosby’s mother hooks more than Fedorov, but with Crosby’s mom at least you get something out of it before feeling shame. He just doesn't have the legs to skate with guys any more, and it hurts to watch him fall to the ice untouched, which happened frequently this season.

I was ecstatic when McPhee acquired Fedorov last spring for a mid-level prospect, and he actually scored a game-winner in a Game 7, which never happens in DC let alone to the Caps. And the dude will always be a legend, and I'll always be a fan. But it's time to get real. Nylander’s corpse and a slowing Fedorov (the nominal second-line centers) produced 7% of the Caps' goals and 9% of their points while eating up 15% of the cap space in '08-'09. McPhee simply has to do better than that. Step one is parting ways with Feds.

**All of this is moot, of course, if Nylander the albatross agrees to waive his no-movement clause, cross his fingers and pass through waivers (a.k.a. the Atlanta Thrashers) and go on loan to the KHL, NHL salary cap hit free. Something tells me he (his wife) is cool stealing Leonsis’ fat checks, though. I hate you for making me want to ditch Fedorov you lutefisk eating bastard.

[Image via Wikipedia Commons]

This Would Be Like Christmas Times a Million...4.875 Million to be Exact

Well fuck me sideways with a lunch box.

It appears our wet dream of Michael Nylander's deadweight $4.875 million salary coming off the Caps' books just miiiiiiiight come true. Avangard Omsk of Russia's KHL, better known as "the suckers who paid off Jagr's gambling debt in exchange for a season of half-hearted loafing," is interested in employing Michael Nylander's services. Jagr had an MVP-like season when Nylander centered him in New York back in '05-'06, and they're totally besties. Since Jagr is a moody queen with tantalizing talent it seems as though he's got Avangard Omsk over the barrel on this one, jibber-jabbering about a return to the NHL. Of course I just jinxed everything.

[Michael Nylander's BFF. Image via Japers Rink]

The Caps will have around $52 million in salary towards the cap heading into next season, not accounting for potential promotions from Hershey (besides Alzner, a given) and/or free agent signings. The salary cap's probably going down from $56.7 million, too. Based on absolutely nothing, I'm guessing it'll be...$53 million. With Circles off the books, the Caps would have nearly $6 million in salary cap space to work with. Chris Pronger's at $6.25 million for one more year, if you haven't heard.

Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Aaaaand, my non-sexual boner's gone. I get those from time to time. Back to work.

'Skins Currently Have ~$6 Million in Cap Space

Just so ya know.

Pronger Could be the D-Bag the Doctor Ordered for the Caps

So I'm sitting at a bar in Brooklyn on Saturday nursing a beer. Apparently someone that speaks hipster had spread the word about the Sierra Nevada draft special and a horde of these fuckers took over the bar. After four to six full sips of beer each, they started "dancing" like wacky, waving, inflatable arm flailing tube men and irritating me to no end. So naturally, my thoughts turned to violence. How sweet would it be, I wondered, if Chris Pronger walked into this bar, elbowed and stomped these clowns, hoisted the Stanley Cup over his head and paraded around the bar in triumph over their bloodied corpses? And then Caps GM George McPhee traded Tom Poti, Tomas Fleischmann, D prospects Josh Godfrey and Joe Finley and a 1st rounder for him?

But my fantasies rarely become reality, except for the time I ordered the Super Juicer. And the obstacles preventing this dream from coming to fruition are steep. For one, the Ducks' ridiculous asking price: three blue-chip prospects, one of whom is a studly two-way defenseman in the Pronger mold. That, however, was during a seller's market trade deadline and the asking price is sure to go down this offseason - especially if Scott "Brett Favre" Niedermayer decides to return to the Ducks for another year.

For another, that pesky salary cap. By my math, and after making a few logical assumptions about which RFAs will be retained (Fehr, Gordon, Schultz, Jurcina) and which UFAs will not, the Caps will have around $52 million in salary towards the cap with only one open forward spot available. The 34-year old Pronger has one year left at $6.25 million. The cap this year was $56.7 million and is expected to go down. Balls.

Details shmetails, I say! Pronger is 100% tenacious in his defensive end, which makes him a perfect fit on a Caps blue line that currently has 0% of that. His track record alone would make guys think twice about coming across the middle. Mike Green needs someone to ease the burden of being an offensive stud AND a physical presence, which he tried and failed to be these playoffs. Erskine and Jurcina...Scott Stevens and Rod Langway they are not. Plus I think Pronger would like it here: we have plenty of hot sports reporters available for him to impregnate.

Pronger bait. [Photo via Wikipedia]

More importantly, however, Pronger will bring the edge to the backline that Ovie takes care of up front, and the young guys like Alzner - who curiously prides himself on not hitting - could stand to learn a thing or two about what it takes: namely a dose of d-baggery when appropriate.

As I finished my beer one particularly pissy, life-hating hipster was at the bar whining about his $3 Sierra Nevada being too hoppy; about Modest Mouse becoming too "commercial;" and other such bullshit things. It occurred to me that this was the Michael Nyander of the bar: he talked in circles like Nylander skates them and sucks the life out of the room like Nylander sucks it out of the Caps' offense. And similarly, is the final road block to fun/improvement. The 36-year-old Swede is $5 million in cap deadweight for the next two years and it'd be a shame if that kept the Caps from acquiring a guy like Pronger. Though not nearly as shameful as the way in which the corporations have like totally screwed us over again, man. Dumbass hipster.

[Pronger image via CBC Sports]