Charles Barkley Joins Redskins Nation

Legitimate fanship or just Charles being Charles? Who cares; anything to piss off Eagles fans.



(H/T Hogs Haven)

National Outrage: Strasburg Not an All-Star!?!

I know this topic has been beaten into the ground, but MLB is making a insanely stupid mistake by not putting Stephen Strasburg on the NL All-Star team. The game is a marketing event and Pitching Jesus is the most marketable player in the league right now, bar none; the game is for the fans, and the fans want Strasburg. In addition to upsetting the regular fans, Bud Selig, Charlie Manuel, and whoever else there is to blame, have a great to chance to draw in some new fans who are intrigued by Strasburg. Even if he didn't pitch in the game, more people would tune in for the chance to watch (although there could be mini riots if he was on the roster and didn't pitch). Then there is the fact that Strasburg is not one of the 5 players in the running for the last roster spot. As much as Joey Votto deserves that last spot, Strasburg would be the clear favorite to be voted in by the fans. I am not 100% sure who creates the 5 person list for the last spot, but omitting Strasburg is a clear sign that they did not want him in this game for lord knows what reason and that he will not be in this game as an injury replacement.

Oh, but 'This time it counts' you say? Well then the NL should put their best players out there, and Pitching Jesus is without a doubt one of the best pitchers the in the league. Charlie Manuel said:

"He got quite a bit of consideration. He is going be an All-Star for a long time. What does he have, five starts? I just felt there are other guys who have started 18 to 20 games. I just felt, 'leave him alone and let him get used to the major league level." 

'Get used to the major league level?!?' Strasburg has been an absolute force thusfar, on par with the best pitchers in the league; it is safe to say he is doing just fine at adjusting to the major league level. At least that is very sporting of Mr. Manuel to be so concerned about the development of a division rival's star talent.

The 'hasn't pitched enough games' argument is greatly hindered by the fact that Omar Infante made the NL team as a Manager's selection. Infante has only playing in 57 of this team's 82 games thusfar and does not qualify for league leaderboards. Most healthy starters have pitched 17 games, but Infante's games played % gives that his equivalent would be a SP with only 11 or 12 starts.

Those are just the general points as to why Strasburg should be on the team, and don't even address the fact that Matt Capps was picked over him. Going by VORP, Capps has been the 11th best pitcher on the Nationals, and they are trying to tell me he should be an All-Star over Pitching Jesus? Just amongst Nationals relievers, Tyler Clippard is significantly more deserving. Clippard as the Nats representative I could at least swallow a little easier than Capps, but the bigger injustice is Josh Willingham. Based purely on performance, Willingham should be starting in this game; he is 6th in the NL in VORP, and 1st amongst outfielders. If you are going to pass over the most marketable and possibly best pitcher in the league by the All-Star break for only having 6 starts, at least get the guy you pick over him right. I understand Ryan Zimmerman is stuck behind 2 guys having great seasons at 3B, but the Nats have 2 better and more sensible candidates than Capps, excluding Strasburg.

Keith Law called Manuel's selections 'comically bad', and I have to agree. The Strasburg omission is outrageous. Manuel deserves to lose the All-Star game and then lose the World Series in game 7 in an AL park, now that would be some sweet justice.

(Image courtesy of awesomotime.files.wordpress.com)

Unofficial Capitals Awards Odds

Tonight in Vegas, Mike Green and Alex Ovechkin have a chance to make history. According to a tweet by PR guru Nate Ewell last night, not since Wayne Gretzky and Paul Coffey have two teammates repeated as NHL first team all-stars. Ovechkin is a lock and, no disrespect to Drew Doughty and Duncan Keith, Green should be too.

Odds of this happening, determined by yours truly without consulting official odds-makers in Vegas, using a calculator, or putting down the bottle:

4 to 5

Two-time reigning MVP Alex Ovechkin is nominated again for the Hart Memorial Trophy, which is voted on by the media. His competition is Henrik Sedin, who led the league in points, and Sidney Crosby, who tied for the league lead in goals with 51. While Ovechkin was bested in points by Sedin and equaled by Crosby, he dominated in points per game with a whopping (and career best) 1.51. Some are convinced that two absences due to suspension, a flameout in the Olympics, and the star-studded Caps lineup will hurt is chances to take home the trophy. Fair or unfair, I am one of those people, and I think Sedin ultimately takes home the Hart (althought I hope I'm wrong).


Odds of Ovechkin winning the Hart Trophy, determined by yours truly without consulting official odds-makers in Vegas, using a calculator, or putting down the bottle:

3 to 2

The Ted Lindsay Award, formerly known as the Lester B. Pearson Award, is given to the league's most outstanding player, as voted on by the NHL Player's Association. Ovechkin has won this award two years in a row and there is no reason it should end this year. While media members may fault Ovechkin for "dirty" play, players surely realize that there isn't a more dominating presence on the ice. I am fairly confident he will take home this trophy for the third year in a row.


Odds of Ovechkin winning the Ted Lindsay Award, determined by yours truly without consulting official odds-makers in Vegas, using a calculator, or putting down the bottle:

1 to 2

Now on to the difficult stuff and, as usual, it's Mike Green in question. The James Norris Memorial Trophy is awarded by the media to the NHL's top defense player who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-around ability at the position. While there are many tight races to be won tonight, this one will be subject to the most scrutiny. It's easy to determine a defenseman's offensive contributions through goals, assists, and points, but to quantify his defensive abilities is a much more daunting tasks. Advanced metrics such as GAON/60 and +-ON/60 help paint the picture but not every voter trusts them, let alone knows about them. Two things can sway these voters: their eyes and what everyone else is saying. Their eyes should tell them that Mike Green is the most dominant offensive defenseman in the game, and the stats back it up (76 points in 71 games to lead all defenseman). However, their eyes are also telling them that Green is prone to bad turnovers, that he gambles too much in the defensive zone, that he is cashing in on a number of easy assists to superstars like Ovechkin, Alex Semin, and Nicklas Backstrom. Making matters worse, there is a stigma surrounding Green, mostly undeserved, that he can't play defense because he's so good at offense. Just blame ignorant Flyers fans for that one. He's not freakin' Sandis Ozolinsh, people.


Nevertheless, Duncan Keith's consistency throughout the season as the steady rock of the Chicago defense will win him his first Norris Trophy. Drew Doughty will finish a close second, and Green a close third. I don't see Green ever winning a Norris if he fails to do so this year, especially as a young stud like Doughty matures into a better Chris Pronger, minus the douchiness.

I will be stunned if Green wins this award.

Odds of Mike Green winning the Norris Trophy, determined by yours truly without consulting official odds-makers in Vegas, using a calculator, or putting down the bottle:

3 to 1

The festivities begin tonight at 7:30 ET. The boozy pregame begins whenever you goddamn feel like it.
 

Poll Results: Caps First Round Opponents

Fantastic voter turnout for this one, and a pretty obvious preference indicated by Caps Nation.

Out of 144 voters, 74% do NOT want to face the Flyers (38%) or Canadiens (36%) in the first round of the playoffs. I can't say I disagree.

After last night's OT win over Boston - a game in which we benched Mike Green and no Caps forward saw more than 18:20 of ice time - it's pretty clear we have the mental edge over the Bruins as we near the postseason. Ditto for the Thrashers, and ditto for the Rangers (although perhaps less so than the others).

What's unfortunate is that the Flyers are slotted in that 8-spot right now and, despite serious recent struggles, might be there to stay. I know we can beat 'em, you know we can beat 'em, my cousin's dead blind dog knows we can beat 'em. It just might require a little more focus than your everyday first round fodder.

Who knows - maybe that's a good thing? Let's just say it is.

Washington, DC: The Decade's Biggest Loser...Can the Caps Save Us?

About a year ago, our friends at MisterIrrelevant determined that D.C. was, in fact, America's worst professional sports city. The data was pulled mostly from the 2008 calender year but included the beginning portions of the 2007-2008 NHL and NBA seasons.

In a similar fashion, I evaluated America's four-sport cities over the past decade. I began this task with the awareness that my greatest fear - ten years of utterly hopeless fanaticism - might be confirmed. Yet, that feeling didn't overwhelm my curiosity enough to withdraw from the exercise. So on I went.

The results weren't depressing; they were demoralizing.

Notes to consider before reading on:

• Only the Washington/Montreal baseball franchise was included. Sorry, O's fans.
• There were nine NHL seasons this decade due to the 2004-2005 strike.
• For cities in which two teams exist within one sport (e.g. baseball in Chicago), performance was averaged for each particular year.
• The team with the best year among the 12 cities received a scored of 1. The team with the worst year among the 12 cities received a score of 12.
• Success was determined by playoff success first. Regular season records were used as tie-breakers.
• Rankings are only relative to the 12 cities being evaluated.
  

[Click tables to enlarge]

Overall

For those of you more graphically gifted, the image on the right should provide some insight. For those who aren't, I'll explain. That light blue area? That abnormally large protuberance from the wonderfully average red area? That represents the amount that D.C. sports have sucked over the last 10 years. Notice how it's hilariously close to being about 150% as large as the average, meaning our ineptitude has deemed us about half as bad as average this decade. My head is spinning, but not from the math.

And here's the breakdown by sport (analysis following):


Basketball 

  


Breakdown by Year

Hockey

Breakdown by Year

Football

Breakdown by Year

 








Baseball

Breakdown by Year

***

There it is. So next time you're at the water cooler chatting with that choch from Philly who frosts his tips and wears sunglasses at night, your biggest validation as a D.C. sports fan will be that you've rooted for only the 5th worst hockey team out of the 12 major sports cities over the last decade. Gross.

The implications of this are simple: this year's Capitals team is our only hope to salvage what little dignity we have left as D.C. sports fans this decade. With the Wizards middling well below mediocrity, the Redskins in more disarray than a bag of cockroaches, and the Nationals at least two years away from fielding a major league baseball team, more and more of the town's focus will be centered around the Caps' performance this year. And with that focus comes pressure.

General Manager George McPhee made a relatively large splash yesterday in trading Captain Cadaver and Juice for a speedy winger and $2 million in cap space. With the extra wiggle room, an even bigger move could be in the works.

Which may be exactly what this Caps team needs to reach the pinnacle of the sport; which might be this city's one saving grace in a decade beyond the realm of disappointment.

Caps Destroy Sucker-Punchers For 2nd Straight Game

I was going to post a basic recap, but the Caps just sent a message out to the league so I'll just post it here in case you didn't get it yourself.

"Dear Rest of NHL:

You are now on notice. If you continue to try any of this bush-league, sucker-punching stuff on us, we will make you pay.



They say a fight will really get your team going sometimes. Unfortunately for you, if you fight dirty, you're gonna get the wrong team going. Result: Washington 8 - Philadelphia 2.

We thought we'd made this clear 2 nights ago against the Panthers, when some guy named Duco jumped Giroux from behind and started wailing on him.



We thought our thorough 6-2 beating sent the message. I guess it didn't get through.

We now lead the league in goals and sit atop the Eastern Conference standings, a point ahead of Pittsburgh.

Oh, and Ovechkin returns Monday. And he's pissed. Haters beware.

Good luck trying to stop us.

Signed,

The Caps"

Skins @ Eagles, 1 ET

And so the Redskins begin their second cycle of NFC East games at 0-3 in the division, and with nowhere to go but up.

If there was ever a time to sack up and adopt the role of playoff spoiler, I'm pretty certain we've reached that point. After all, what other type of joy can this season possibly bring?

Philadelphia and I don't really get along, but I think the other party deserves the majority of the blame for the conflict. Either way, I enjoy fanning the flames:



Video courtesy of former Redskin Ryan Clark and the once upon a time #1 WR for the Eagles, Todd Pinkston. You read that correct.

What the Eagles Mean to Us

Here is a great quote from Hogs Haven (h/t Plotty):

We all hate the Cowgirls. We are all annoyed and frustrated at the success of the Giants. But the Eagles and their fans hold a special place in each and every one of us: somewhere between the colon and the rectum. As a sports fan, there is little I despise more than a team from Philly. Call it regional angst. Call it close-proximity friction. Call it what you want.

Could not agree more with this sentiment. And I'm gonna call it obnoxious, uneducated, and possibly illiterate fanaticism, if that makes any sense. I hate Philadelphia.

Friday Furburgers: Why Is Gibbs Getting a Free Pass?

There are three things most Redskins fans, a contentious bunch, can agree upon: 1) Vinny Cerrato is a dunce; 2) Dan Snyder is, um, misguided, and 3) Joe Gibbs is God.

Most of the hysteria this week has focused itself on the team-building abilities of the former two (henceforth, "Snyderrato" or "It"), which closely resembles the levee-building abilities of the US Army Corps of Engineers, New Orleans. Snyderrato's star-centric, veteran-reliant philosophy started on Day One of Its tenure with the signings of washed up Bruce Smith, Deion Sanders et al. Then, It brings God back into the fold in '04 and for a moment we thought things would be different forever and ever again. Didn't we?

We are disappointed today to realize they aren't. All this kvetching about old and fragile players, lack of depth, and inability to build through the draft can be traced back to Joe Gibbs himself. The Redskins team that takes the field on Sundays still has Gibbs' fingerprints all over it, both in terms of the guys wearing the B&G jerseys and the talent that could be but isn't. He enabled Snyderrato's free-spending mentality by himself having a bias towards building a team with veteran players.

Let's look at the objective facts. Gibbs traded away a 2nd rounder (Portis trade), a 3rd rounder (Mark Brunell), a 3rd rounder and a 4th rounder (B. Lloyd) and a 4th rounder (TJ Duckett) and oversaw the big $$ handouts to each of these guys (minus Duckett). If these picks had been used on young O-linemen for Bugel to mold over the past few years, would we be looking down the barrell of a 12-gauge right now? Gregg Williams was largely responsible for miscasting key young defensive players as replaceable ones (Ryan Clark, Antonio Pierce), but these moves were ultimately Gibbs' call too and reflect a persistent mentality that "proven" is worth vastly more than unproven. Seems logical, right?

In theory yes, in reality no, and the proof is in the pudding. Gibbs' molding of the modern Redskins is built on the philosophy that 1) character trumps talent, 2) experience trumps youth, 3) getting "your guy" trumps the cost concerns, and 4) loyalty to veterans trumps the uncertainty of draft picks. As a result the Redskins have a starting lineup filled with great character guys who are old and overpaid, and cheap retreads or late-round hopefuls backing them up.

And the two-headed monster in charge doesn't seem to mind a bit. Snyderrato believed in this veteran-first mindset before, for different reasons perhaps, and now after watching Gibbs do in effect the same, It is empowered to continue down this path. Hard to tell, though, if keeping the old and crippled O-line together is a function of Gibbsian loyalty or a symptom of the general ineptitude perpetuated by Snyderrato's more recent decisions. I have my hunches.

I'm not saying this witch hunt should head down NASCAR-way and we pitchfork us some fresh Gibbs meat. His tenure had its successes: it restored organizational credibility, recharged Redskins pride and we won a playoff game! And he's still better than anything that has ever touched the Eagles organization (kiss the rings).

But let's not lose sight of Gibbs 2.0's ultimate failure: the inability to un-Snyderrato Snyderrato. The NFL is, frankly, a different beast than it was in the days Gibbs baked the victory cakes. Today, we're tasting the bitter result of a Betty Crocker formula mixed with too much sugar and icing and not enough of that moist fluffy dough inside. And the bakers still think they're doing it right.

Marinate on that a little bit this weekend while you're browsing the interwebz. Without further ado, and with no logical Segway necessary, your Friday Furburgers: links from the week, for the weekend.

Redskins Mass Hysteria.
East Coast Bias

Redskins Mass Hysteria: Redskins Alumns edition.
Lovey Land

Peter King thinks the Lions will snap their 19-game losing streak against the 'Skins Sunday. I think Peter King will snap his child's finger off for a snack some day. See what I did there?
FanNation | The Peter King Challenge

The Redskins aren't the only mess under Dan Snyder's charge. Further proof that he's pretty much the exact opposite of Midas.
The Curly R

Translating Jim Zorn's 4th down calls into Geek. Allow me to retranslate: he made the right calls decisions.
Advanced NFL Stats

Moving along now to the Redskins' smarter, cooler, awesomer brother: The Caps. Per Coach Bruce Boudreau, even the youngsters have "championship blood." I got chills...we'll have more on this soon.
Capitals Insider

Scott Burnside provides a pretty smart season preview, minus the "a Cup visit isn't yet in the cards" business.
ESPN

Caps minor league enforcer Brandon Sugden squares off with former Cap and reigning NHL heavyweight Donald Brashear twice in preseason action Thursday. Rangers 3, Caps 2.
Japers' Rink

Lil' guy (5' 9", 160 lbs) and uber-skilled prospect, C Matthieu Perrault, is proving he belongs...if not now then very soon. And he's pretty psyched about it, duh.
On Frozen Blog

Wizards using stats now.
Bullets Forever

Nats lose 100 for second straight year. I did not see this coming.
SB Nation

Ridiculous '80s dating video montage, featuring Vinny Cerrato ("I operate a damsel in distress hotline") around the 2:05 mark.
Daily Motion

Fast Facts

Did you know...

• the last time the Redskins won a game without scoring a touchdown was their 2005 season opener against the Chicago Bears? Final Score: Skins 9 - Bears 7.
  

• the Redskins advanced to the Divisional Round of the Playoffs that year?

• the Redskins have only allowed 10 points total in their last 2 home games, dating back to last season?

• Santana Moss is mired in one of his worst 2-game stretches as a Redskin? He has his least amount of receiving yards (41) since a brutal 2-week span in 2007 that included an extremely costly fumble.

• before this year, Chris Cooley's best start to a season was in 2008, when he caught 7 passes for 79 yards? Thus far in 2009: 14 catches for 151 yards and a TD.

• with just the right amount of alcohol, blog-reading, pensiveness, and baseless trash-talking from illiterate Eagles fans, a Redskin fan is capable of convincing himself that his team is headed for doom, or that this year it actually has what it takes to win the Super Bowl? Thank you for joining me at 3 am this morning, people.
  

So...you know...just so you know.

Ray Lewis, Jesus, and...Brian Orakpo?

Let's be real here.

Skepticism of the Redskins' plan to create a special hybrid role for Brian Orakpo, the 13th overall pick in the 2009 NFL Draft for all you n00bs out there, has been rampant in the annals of the DC Landing Strip.

Let's be real one more time.

Our doubt was, and still may be, legitimate. Read: the Redskins' organization hasn't necessarily been a well-oiled machine since the Snyder era began in June of 1999, or as most of you probably remember it, the first day of elections for the European Parliament. What a crazy day?!

Frankly, there hasn't been much precedent for a stud-college-DE-turned-pro-LB in a 4-3 defense, although the transition has proven successful in several 3-4 schemes. So before we crowned Orakpo the next Terrell Suggs...err DeMarcus Ware...err Joey Porter...err James Harrison...we thought it appropriate to take a few free shots at the top of the Skins organization. A reflex is a reflex, people.

Is it time for us to eat our words?

***

Before I go any further I must shamelessly admit to a shameful history of jumping ahead of myself in a desperate search for hope in this championship starved sports town. Screw you, at least I'm not an Eagles fan.

And before you read any further swallow this grain of salt: we are only a few weeks of training camp and one preseason game into a very long season of football.

But it appears Brian Orakpo, the same Brian Orakpo of once-speculated-idiotic-creation-of-hybrid-position-in-a-4-3-defense, has brought to the table an element that the Redskins defense has lacked since we lost Sean Taylor* two seasons ago:

Fear.

Piss-in-your-pants, eyes-in-the-back-of-the-head, alligator-body fear.

(Did you really think this post wouldn't be littered with anti-Philly references? Didn't think so.)

Coaches have been pleased with his progress up to this point but understand there is room for improvement, especially in coverage.

Jim Zorn has acknowledged his exceptional speed and "think[s] we got a player there." Really, coach? I sure hope you did with the 13th overall pick.

One particular play stood out during the Skins excruciatingly boring 23-0 loss to Baltimore. It can be found at the 1:50 mark of this video recap. Orakpo absolutely drills Ravens QB Troy Smith, barely able to release the ball before smacking the turf. That play highlighted the attributes we can only hope Orakpo brings to the table every down on every Sunday: speed, strength, and intimidation.

Jason Campbell marvelled at how we have two players that opposing quarterbacks shutter at the sight of in Orakpo and Big Al Haynesworth. Combine the fear those two instill with an overdue breakout season for LaRon Landry and steady play from the rest of the defense, including a rejuvenated Phillip Daniels, and it looks like the Skins have the makings of a championship caliber defense.

Let's analyze those two words for a minute: championship caliber. The defense was outstanding last year; there is no denying that. But calling it championship caliber would be foolish given the lack of turnovers created and even one guy whom opposing offenses had to game-plan around on EVERY SINGLE PLAY.

This year could be different, and god-willing it will be. The key to it all, though, the Redskins X-Factor, if you're a fan of that cliched term, is Orakpo.

Hell, even a few Skins rookies were hazed today. Among those hazed? Not Orakpo. Perhaps his time is coming, but the only two people I'd be less likely to duct tape to a goalpost than Orakpo are Ray Lewis and Jesus. And I'm a wiz with the duct tape.

UPDATE: Orakpo taped to goal posts. Go figure.

*If you have not seen this video, watch it. And then watch it again. And again. Nothing more cathartic than a tribute to #21 with Enya playing in the background and a box of tissues on hand.

[Title Image via All Hail Redskins]

Why Vick on the Eagles Worries Me...And Should Worry You Too

Out with one felon, in with another! That's how we roll in the NFC East, where football always comes first. Mike Vick joined the Philadelphia Eagles Thursday on a two year deal, and it ain't just for the good publicity. Their backup and theoretical QB of the future, Kevin Kolb, injured his knee so that Detmer guy they've had on and off for like 12 years Vick suddenly became a cheap and appealing contingency option for the Iggs.

This move makes me nervous. While they are busy grooming Kolb for the near future, what's the harm in bringing along someone else to push him, thinks they? A someone else who happens to have a cannon arm and can run a 4.2 40-yard dash?

And what better tutor for Vick to have than McNabb? He overcame his early-career reliance on scrambling, which is exactly what Vick must learn to do to evolve. McNabb (per Vick a "close friend") can also help him deal with the flak to come from PETA and Philadelphia's moronic fan base. Andy Reid, too, is experienced in handling troubled youths.

What's most worrisome perhaps is that Vick is in a no pressure situation. Any yard he gains from now on is a yard no one expected. If he actually learns his position (he already has a year in the WCO under his belt) and puts his athleticism to better use, he could be a dangerous QB; and that would be a nightmare worse than the recurring one I have where Vinny and Danny bump and grind to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face."

I used to look forward to the day the Eagles dropped McNabb, but I don't anymore. It's a crying shame. Whatever, Orakpo will break them all.

[Image via give me texas wisdom]

NFL Team Rankings - Super Bowl Era

A couple weeks ago, we came out with the 30-Year MLB Rankings. In that spirit, I am unveiling DCLS's 43-Year NFL Rankings.

Fourty-three years, of course, refers to the Super Bowl Era. It's purely semantic that the first four Super Bowls crowned an "AFL-NFL World Champion", whereas the next 39 crowned an "NFL World Champion", so spare me some ridiculous argument about the merger.

League-best numbers are in yellow and NFC East teams are color-coded (!) for your convenience as most of you can't read.

Huh?

Again, just as with the MLB Rankings, the scoring system may need some tweaking, and "Hot Cheerleaders" probably deserves a category of its own.

[Click table for a barely more focused view]

It pains me to see Dallas on top of such a list, but I knew what I was getting into when I applied the formula. So let's just not talk about that.

The Redskins at 9th is about where I expected them to be, and I can't hide my joy at the Eagles being division bottom-feeders, sitting at 14th overall. Praise.

What do you take from this? Other than the fact that the Eagles have won ZERO Super Bowls and have had ZERO MVP's, and are probably at least one life-altering dietary program by Donovan McFlabb away from getting a chance to lose another?

[Note: you could only absorb the above and I'd be happy]

1) The NFC East is not just the best division in football right now; it's the most prestigious division in football history. By a lot.

2) Looking at this list and seeing two separate franchises from Los Angeles in the top-5 and then realizing there is currently no pro football team in Los Angeles nearly makes my head explode.

3) Arizona is dreadful. Take away last year and you're looking at 11 total points in 43 years. Or, more simply, two 10-win seasons and four playoff appearances. In 43 years. Pathetic.

4) Lastly, speaking of pathetic, I'd like to reiterate that the Eagles have never won, and will never win, a Super Bowl Championship.

30 Year MLB Rankings: O's Mediocre, Nats Jealous

Today being the eve of the 2009 Strasburg draft, I thought I'd create a formula to rank all 30 major league teams over the last 30 years (1979-2008). Why only 30 years? Good question. According to my flawless logic, in a 30-year span, every team in a 30-team league should have one championship (let's ignore the strike-shortened season of 1994).

Here is the transcript of a potential conversation between Reader and Writer regarding these rankings:

Reader: The scoring on this is soooooo arbitrary!

Writer: Yes, and I don't care.

Reader: Did you really make a World Series Championship twice as valuable as a World Series Loss?!

Writer: Yes, I did.

Asshole Reader: I'm from Philly. Did you only date back to 1979 because the Phillies made the playoffs three consecutive seasons before that? I have herpes.

Asshole Writer: Sorry about the herpes, but you probably deserved it. And bingo, I did date back to only 1979 to reduce Philadelphia's score. Why? Because I can.

In all seriousness, though, these rankings are not perfect, and I wouldn't even argue if you told me my numbers were weighted arbitrarily.

Key:
Orioles
Nationals/Expos
Best in League. Must highlight this color to see it. There you go, punk.
Expansion Teams' Adjusted Total Points per 30 seasons

[If the table is blurry, just click on it for a slightly more focused view]


What stands out? Arizona so high. What doesn't? I'll give you a hint: it's right above this line.

The Washington/Montreal franchise has, just to confuse you, without fail succeeded at failure year-in and year-out. ONE playoff appearance in THIRTY years.

Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper can not arrive soon enough.

Friday Furburgers: Shit Talking Round-Up

'Casual Friday' shouldn't require DCLS followers to engage in soul-crushing cordiality at the office. Unfortunately, the cruel reality to daily life in a civilized metropolis, compared with say, Philly, is round-the-clock workplace etiquette expectations. At no time are such pleasantries less desired than on Fridays, knowing weekend recreation involves the combination of females, sports, drinking, and friends. Whereas an exchange such as this might be unremarkable in a Philadelphia (law firm, restaurant, elementary school):

Philly Resident #1: Hey cocksucker, I need this (legal brief, appetizer, finger painting) by yesterday.
Philly Resident #2: Thanks boss, don't think just because you're the (partner, owner, principal) I won't fucking strangle you and think nothing of it, even though I am a mere (secretary, bus-boy, first grader).

...I have heard a version of this forced exchange repeated ad naseam at my office in the District:

DC Resident #1: Yeah Jim, Saturday I can't wait to watch my seven-year-old play girls soccer all day in the sun!
DC Resident #2: Boy that sounds fantastic, here's to hoping traffic from 495 to the Bay Bridge to the Shore won't be too heavy when I get on the roads at 4:30 today!

In the interests of DCLS followers everywhere, all four of you, I present the first edition of Friday Furburgers: Shit Talking Round-Up, where we can collectively manifest our frustration knowing the Eagles have never won, nor will ever win, a Super Bowl Championship (and related braggadocio).

Top 10 Dallas Cowboys Arrests of All Time
DC Ranks Third on Best Cities List
Donovan McNabb Still QB, Eagles Fans Confident In Team's Offseason 'Upgrades'
Oil Firm Owned By Shawne Merriman (UMD) Sues Laettner (Dook) and Davis (Dook)
DC To Host Next Real-World
DC Named America's Fittest City, Philly #27, Dallas #35

[title image via IMDB]

Welcome

Over the next 58 years, we at DC Landing Strip will take you on a sports journey unlike any other.

Redskins? Yes.

Capitals? Hell yes.

Terps? Of course.

Wizards? Sure.

Nationals? Whatever.

Orioles? Why not?!

Mystics? Freedom? Umm, no thanks.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the summer, where only blind hope distracts us from the utter ineptitude of area baseball teams. And take solace in the fact that the Eagles have never won, and will never win, a Super Bowl championship.