DC Takes Collective Swig of Whiskey - ESPN Lists JC as the #25 QB in NFL

Using a system similar to that used by Baseball Prospectus to project player performance by using performance trends by players with similar statistic profiles, Football Outsiders provided ESPN with a piece on career projections for the top-35 current NFL QBs. Bare in mind that this is not based on current ability, so longer-tenured guys who have already massed a career's worth of yards will rank highly, such as Favre, Collins, and Culpepper.

For those of you without an ESPN The Mag Subscription, here is the list in order of projected career passing yards:

1) Peyton Manning

2) Brett Favre

3) Drew Brees

4) Tom Brady

5) Carson Palmer

6) Donovan McNabb

7) Jay Cutler

8) Kerry Collins

9) Philip Rivers

10) Ben Roethlisberger

11) Kurt Warner

12) Matty Ryan

13) Matt Schaubb

14) Eli Manning

15) Matt Hasselbeck

16) Tony Romo

17) David Garrard

18) Aaron Rodgers

19) Joe Flacco

20) Marc Bulger

21) Daunte Culpepper

22) Jake Delhomme

23) Chad Pennington

24) Trent Edwards

25) Jason Campbell

26) Matt Cassel

27) Vince Young

28) Derek Anderson

29) Shaun Hill

30) JaMarcus Russell

31) Michael Vick

32) Kyle Orton

33) Byron Leftwich

34) Matt Leinart

35) Kellen Clemens

The article's blurb for JC says, "Most comps had long careers, but as backups (O'Donnell, Jon Kitna)." This is interesting, as it is in stark contrast to FO's career forecast for JC based on his college stats, and their 2009 take that the rest of the offense made his numbers look bad last year.

All we know for certain about JC right now is that his GF is smokin', and not much else.

(Image of JC's smokin' hot GF courtesy of giftqb.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/qb-weekender)

Sporting News Manages to Be Even More Full of Crap Than ESPN

While perusing the DMV on Mr Irrelevant this morning, I came across this embarrassing article from the Sporting news on the top-100 players in the NFL. This list did come from a supposed panel of experts, but come on, this is awful, and I'm not just saying that because it is very different from the DCLS Redskin rankings, which used far different criteria. Age is excluded here, but name-players are far and away overvalued, although I do enjoy seeing Fat Albert as the #1 defensive player (and also find it hard to believe that he isn't as good as Fitzgerald or LDT right now).

Some of the lowlights:

• Ray Lewis #11.
• Brees behind Big Ben.
• Nnamdi Asomugha is the #8 defensive player, yet is probably the best player in the league relative to his position; he is head and shoulders above every other CB.
  
• Brian Dawkins at #39. Maybe he ranked there about 8 years ago. Find me the GM who thinks he is better than LaRon Landry and I will show you the Cincinnati Bengals.
  
• TO at #33 is probably the most egregious listing. There is a place for over the hill receivers like him, Dancing With The Stars, not a list of top-100 NFL players this season.
  
• No wait, Vick at #88 is just absurd. He hasn't played in 2 years and is a 3rd string QB. Wow. Carson Palmer, Aaron Rodgers, and Tony Homo did not make the list.

I could run Football Outsiders metrics for days explaining the horror of this list, but I'm getting dizzy just trying to wrap my head around its logic. Maybe they used some votes from a few years ago to boost the old guys...

(Image courtesy of thebestgspot.com)

Not So Breaking News Bulletin: World Wide Leader Doesn't Know ANYTHING!

I just thought this list, actually published TODAY, was so ridiculous it deserved its own news bulletin. I'll preface it with this: the unsigned Michael Crabtree is a more notable Week One rookie to watch than Brian Orakpo, or Matt Stafford for that matter. I've lost all faith in humanity.

Ranking the Top 25 Redskins

Picture this extremely unmagical and highly unrealistic scenario:

The Redskins were suddenly contracted.

What would happen next is a dispersal draft would take place, relocating our beloved Redskins one-by-one to different cities around the league.

Obviously, teams would draft in consideration of a number of variables such as team needs, ability, character, age, contract status, etc.

For the sake of this blog post, and the big board below, we have decided to disregard all things contractual in an attempt to assess the true value of each player on the football field.* However illogical it may be, for the moment try to imagine if every player made the league minimum, was signed to a life-time contract, and the Skins were no more. Which current Redskins possess the most value in a dispersal draft in this super messed up circumstance?

1. Albert Haynesworth - This one is pretty much a no-brainer, although the fact that he has only played the full 16 games once in his career is somewhat of a concern. Still, he's the most dominating DT in the game and certainly acts the part.
2. Brian Orakpo - The 13th overall pick in the 2009 draft is making the 12 teams that passed on him look like dinguses. Maybe one of them would learn from their mistake in the dispersal draft? He has the tools to become scary good.
3. LaRon Landry - From a very biased (obviously) standpoint, he is quite possibly the most physically gifted safety in the league. Whether he puts it all together and becomes the star most scouts envisioned when he was drafted still remains to be seen, but he's only 24. I like his chances.
4. Jason Campbell - All you haters can suck it. He's a quarterback. He's the epitome of class. He's got a cannon for an arm. He's only 27. He's big. He's mobile. His teammates love him. Disliking him is an impossibility. He has value, and he has a lot of it.
5. Carlos Rogers - Yea, he drops passes that are thrown right at him. But there's plenty of value in a shutdown corner, which Rogers can be when he's on top of his game. Oh, and there's this.
6. Chris Cooley - He's got great hands, runs good routes, blocks like a champ, never goes down after first contact, and has a smokin' hot wife.
7. DeAngelo Hall - He's only 25, which is weird, because it seems like he's been in the league for about 10 years. He still has elite speed and big play ability. He also still has questionable character and can be inconsistent in coverage. So...
8. Santana Moss - Homerun hitter that can go the distance every time the ball's in his hands. Unfortunately those hands are questionable, as is his ability to stay healthy.
9. Clinton Portis - Ranking this low is no knock on Portis, whom I love in a borderline heterosexual way. But his age (28) and career carries (2,052) aren't headed south any time soon, and the wealth of good young running backs around the league makes him somewhat expendable in this scenario.
10. Chris Samuels - Slowly on the decline but still able to protect the blindside, and pretty well at that. Should have a few more excellent seasons left in the tank.
11. Chris Horton - He had a better rookie season than anyone could have envisioned. He's not the most physically gifted player but always seems to find the ball and make plays.
12. London Fletcher - His age is somewhat a concern but his durability is not, having NEVER missed a game in 11 years. Jesus. Great defensive quarterback who also happens to be a tackling machine.
13. Derrick Dockery - Above average guard who excels in the running game. He turns 29 in a few days, so he's not old, but he's also not young...I don't really have much to say about Derrick Dockery.
14. Casey Rabach - He's 32 but a good center cannot be undervalued. Plus, centers have been known to have pretty long careers.
15. Mike Sellers - He's one of the best fullbacks in the game, Redskins fan or not. He can catch out of the backfield, plow through you, or screw it, leap over you. But most importantly, he is a bruising blocker and a scary-looking dude, the two prerequisites to being a great fullback.
16. Andre Carter - He's 30 years old, by no means a star, and most likely on the decline, but he's still got some value in his underrated speed off the edge. Would probably benefit by not being the primary guy.
17. Malcolm Kelly - Still somewhat of a mystery, although an excellent preseason has restored some of the previous hype. Good hands, GREAT flow.
18. Kedric Golston - He's only 26 and massively underrated, IMHO. Would be a starter on most teams in the league, especially those without the guy ranked first on this list occupying their d-line.
19. Rocky McIntosh- Injuries have slowed him considerably, but he's still tackles like a champ when healthy.
20. Stephon Heyer - He's still very raw but looks to have the size to succeed at right tackle. Wouldn't be an exciting pick, but also wouldn't be baseless or impractical.
21. Devin Thomas - See Kelly, Malcolm, but subtract a few tenths of a second off the 40-time, and add the words "lacks" and "focus" right next to one another.
22. Antwaan Randle-El - Has a lot of value as a slot receiver and emergency quarterback. Can return punts for you if you're not big on production.
23. Cornelius Griffin - Makes the list in spite of his age (32) because of his career body of work and the respect he commands as a defensive leader.
24. Lorenzo Alexander - He's only 26 years old and is without a definite position, but his size and versatility - plays offense, defense, and special teams - and willingness to do whatever is asked of him gets him on this list.
25. Ladell Betts - How many of you knew he is actually 2 years older than Clinton Portis? In football years, however, he's probably about 6 years younger, and has proven to be a more than servicable feature back. In other words, seems like he's got a lot left in the tank.

Guys who just missed the cut: Anthony Montgomery, Kevin Barnes, Rock Cartwright, Marko Mitchell, Colt Brennan

[Images via SI.com, Sean Conroy Blog, and Bleacher Report]

*This also may not be too impractical an exercise as the NFL seems to be headed toward an uncapped season in 2010-2011.

This Just In....Oh, I Already Knew That....

Just finished the WaPo sports section and came across a funny little table that lists MLB team pitching statistics by team ERA, and well, whaddya know? The Nats are the worst staff in the NL, and O's are the 2nd worst in the AL, boy didn't see that coming.

Details on the Nats:
-2nd-to-last in strikeouts in the NL, ahead of only the Pirates.
-2nd-to-last in walks, only the Mets have issued more.

Orioles:
-Worst in the league in HRs surrendered, a whopping 11 ahead of the next-to-worst Angels.
-Worst in strikeouts.
-Last in the league in shutouts, with 2 on the year.

The Anchorman and the cavalry can't come soon enough.

(Image courtesy of cardboardkings.com)

Worst Nationals Jersey Ever

As pathetic as the Nationals have been, their short existence in DC and the expectance of their inteptitude has led to this being our only worst jersey list being under 10, because frankly, we can't come up with any others.

Again, the criteria for our list is a jersey that would make fellow fans either:

-Angry
-Disgusted
-Think the guy wearing the jersey is an idiot

As before, please note that any jerseys that are funny bad are not included. Jerseys are is listed in reverse order (least terrible to most terrible):

9) Brad Wilkerson #6 - Not something horrible, but a reminder of a guy who seemed to have so much promise and now is in baseball oblivion.

8) Alfonso Soriano #12 - He had a fine Nationals 'career', but his presence contributed to a team going nowhere, and then Bowden was unable to trade him for anything, let alone anything useful. Just a symbol of the Bowden era that is tough to swallow.

7) Tim Redding #17 - He might seem a little out of place to you, but that is why I have a story. At the semi-tender age of 15, my friend's brother was at an MLB All-Star game party in Houston (poor guy, I know) and walking around with a pen trying to get some autographs from players in attendance. The room was filled with MLB All-Stars past and present. Everyone was having a jolly-good time until my friend's brother suddenly heard someone yelling at him from about 10 feet away: "Hey put that pen away! Some of us are wearing nice clothes, this shirt costs $300!" This rant appeared to creep out even the women at the party just looking for pro athletes to pay their child support, in addition to any normal person who heard the journeyman. Now, I know what you're thinking, Tim Redding was an All-Star?!?, not exactly, he just happened to be a member of the Astros that year, although that's probably not what he told the ladies. Tim, you idiot, that pen was only going near the good players.

6) Adam Dunn #44 or Ryan Zimmerman #11 "Natinals" - Just an embarrassment, and I know this has happened before to other teams/players, but just seems like the Yankees and Red Sox avoid this type of brain fart. This would be higher up the list, but has some ironic potential, so not all bad.

5) Ryan Church #19 - He is either anti-semetic or just a moron, but either way, supporting anybody who says something like that is a bad move.

4) Anybody on the team not named Zimmerman from 2005-2008 - This team was just terrible, and there was no one on the roster who brought any hope or reason to purchase their jersey. Anybody buying one of these jerseys is also clearly new to being a baseball fan, so just unknowledgeable, or switching teams to support, so lacks loyalty. Either way, this jersey is a direct indictment of the person wearing it. The Montreal Canadians have 'The Holy Cloth', but maybe this was 'the damned cloth'.

3) Ryan Zimmerman(n) #11 or Jordan Zimmerman #27 - In case you missed it, both of these are spelled wrong, and this is not an uncommon occurrence for a team whose best 2 young players until a certain #1 pick signed have long last names that are proncounced the same, but spelled 1 letter differently. DC Sports Blog had something on this with pictures, but I can't find it.

2) Lastings Milledge #44 - A once-possible face of the franchise, but not exactly the type of guy you want leading your marketing efforts. He stunk, will continue to stink, and is a symbol of faded hopes. You hear that Elijah Dukes?!?

1) Vinny Castilla #9 - An abysmal contract that never seemed like a good idea. As soon as this was signed, it foretold of numerous bad decisions by Bowden that have led to this team being an absolute joke since arriving in DC.

Dishonorable Mention:
-Cristian Guzman #15 - If not for the past couple seasons when his BA spiked, he would DEFINITELY have been #1. This contract seemed worse than the Castilla one when it was signed; he was literally possibly the worst regular hitter in MLB history until last year.

-Elijah Dukes #34 - There is still some promise, but he is running out of time to figure this thing out. And by thing, I mean life.

Looking back, this list is just sad, not as anger-inducing as the others. I think the general disinterest in the Nats keeps me less emotional; my hopes haven't gotten high enough yet to be crushed.

As always, bring on the debate about the list!

(Image courtesy of totalsports.com)

Worst Oriole Jerseys Ever

Welcome to the 2nd part in this painful series of worst jerseys for all of our beloved professional DC-area teams. This Oriole list was surprisingly more difficult than the Redskin one; we had far more worthy candidates for our bottom-10 thanks to almost 25 years of misery. I kind of felt like I was on the therapist's couch here, unearthing repressed memories. I learned a lot about myself through this journey.

Again, the criteria for our list is a jersey that would make fellow fans either:

• Angry
• Disgusted
• Think the guy wearing the jersey is an idiot
  

As before, please note that any jerseys that are funny bad are not included. Our bottom 10 is listed in reverse order (least terrible to most terrible):

10) Armando Benitez #49 - The exact opposite of clutch. He came in during critical playoff games and gave up homers to pipsqueaks like Marquis Grissom and Tony Hernandez. He also gave up the Jeffrey Maier "homer" and cared more about his pitch speed than, you know, getting batters out. He'd be higher on the list if not for his impressive beat-down of some punk-ass Yankees fools in May 1998. I really hated this guy.

9) Ben McDonald #19 - He was supposed to be the next Nolan Ryan. Instead, he was the first Mark Prior. Amnesia is the only excuse for owning this jersey.

8) David Segui #23 - Beefed up on ol' Vitamin S then stole a huge contract at the end of his career from the O's. I used to call him "Popcorn Man" when I was a kid because he looked like a classmate of mine who always smelled like popcorn. That's irrelevant information, but the point is: screw that smelly kid.

7) Adam Loewen #29 - A monumental pitching bust. The lanky canuck finally gave up pitching and in a gentlemen's agreement with the O's, opted out of his Major League contract to sign a minor league one and learn to hit. After milking O's instructional league coaches for hitting tips, he reneged on his word and fled to the Blue Jays. So in sum, he robbed the O's of $4 million, never panned out, then stabbed them in the back. Good times.

6) Curt Schilling #43 - Mike Mussina, Jimmy Key, Scott Erickson, David Wells, and Schilling rounded out the rotation of the 1997 World Series Champion Baltimore Orioles, who went wire-to-wire first place before crushing the Marlins in 4 games in the Series. What a year! Except it didn't happen, because O's brass thought it prudent to mortgage the future (Steve Finley and Pete Harnisch were also shipped away) in 1990 for 3 abysmal seasons from...

5) Glenn Davis #37 - The "worst Oriole ever", this shmuck was supposed to be the power bat to get the Birds over the hump, and instead all he did was hump the trainer's table in between his infrequent and feeble at-bats. 24 HRs in 3 years before finally retiring...pretty sure Jeff Reboulet accomplished that in the late-'90s.

4) Sammy Sosa #21 - Buying this jersey was like voting for Bush in '04: if you didn't see the epic failure coming, you were a moron. The steroids were clearly wearing off at the end of his Cubs tenure, and he became another in a long line of over-the-hill veterans Angelos tried to plug in to milk a few more jersey sales wins from a broken roster. A line that started with:

3) Albert Belle #88 - Ended up as the worst contract in franchise history and one of the worst in MLB history. In addition to being an asshole, he barely played and succeeded in using a ton of our salary space for his giant ego/contract when a hip injury ended his career.

2) Tony Tarasco #1 - This is nothing against Tony, but this jersey can only bring the most painful memory in Oriole history, of that little anti-christ Jeffrey Maier stealing the ball over the wall to gift Jeter a HR and all but end the Orioles best chance at a championship since 1983.

1) Derek Jeter #2 - What is this all about? FTW:

Worst Orioles Jersey Ever. Please revoke this man's fan card. via Mr. Irrelevant.

***

Dishonorable Mention:

Larry Bigbie #3 - Did anyone get on this bandwagon? I hope not and this serves as a reminder of the years when a mediocore prospect was the best we had on an already bad team. Also: Mitchell Report.

Jay Gibbons #31 - Would have made the bottom-10, but I just feel bad for the guy now.

Miguel Tejada #10 - Yeah, he did steroids and lied about his age, but gave us some great service.

Sir Sidney Ponson #43 - The same as Tejada, but a more unlikeable guy. He performed at or above expectations while he was here and then proceeded to pain the Yankees as a member of their team, which barely kept him out of the bottom-10.

Brady Anderson #9 - Steroids and the self-promotion that led to gay rumors. I would liken the Brady Anderson era to the dutch rudder, it was fun (and not gay), but there was something very wrong about it.

Rodrigo Lopez #13 - Another great example of false hope. After bursting onto the scene in 2002 with 15 wins and finishing 2nd in the ROY voting to Eric Hinske (probably not a good sign in retrospect), saw his peripherals and performance decline and had a generally mediocore Oriole career. And now, he has a world series ring.....for Philly. Not to be confused with a Super Bowl ring.

Kris Benson #34 - When a rebuilding team trades a young starter (John Maine) for a mediocre, injury-prone 30-year-old, he had better have more than a smokin' hot wife. Unfortunately, that's about all Kris brought to the table.

Jeffrey Hammonds #11 - A fine career, but nothing close to the hope he instilled in Oriole fans as our savior.

***

So what do you think? Anyone we missed or who doesn't belong? Will the boiling water I'm about to pour down my throat hurt more than this list?

Worst Redskin Jerseys Ever

We had no idea how hard this was going to be. I thought we'd get a bunch of good ideas and rank them, but there has been endless debate about this list amongst the DCLS writers. This will be the first in a series of worst jerseys for all of our beloved professional DC-area teams (yes, the Nats are included despite their lack of belovedness). We are also considering a 'best jerseys', but first things first. So here is the criteria:

The jersey must be one that would make fellow fans either:

1. Angry
2. Disgusted
3. Think the guy wearing the jersey is an idiot

Please note that any jerseys that are funny bad are not included. Without further adieu, our bottom 10 in reverse order (least terrible to most terrible):

10. Danny Wuerffel #17 - Was anyone really on this bandwagon?

9. Shane Matthews #6 - This was actually a worse bandwagon.

8. Jeff George #3 - I am actually scared to write this because he wants to come back and the Skins want a new qb so lets just move on......

7. Deion Sanders #21 - Primetime has come to symbolize all the extravagant and failed free agent signings of the Snyder era.

6. Jeremiah Trotter #54 - See Sanders, Deion.

5. Michael Westbrook #82 - I think he really has a bright future due to his athleticism.......oh wait, that's his MMA career.

4. Jason Taylor #55 - Only in traditional colors, as a pink one would be funny.

3. Brandon Lloyd #85 - I actually think he is worse than Archuletta as on top of his significant contract, we traded for him! Not for a bag of footballs either, but 3rd and 4th round picks! I think my eyes are bleeding.

2. Adam Archuleta #40- It pains me to even type this name. The Skins get too much shit for their free agent signings, which haven't been all-bad, but this was an absolute disaster. If we hadn't been able to trade him, this may have been the worst signing in team history. The picture above actually makes me naseous. Now a #40 "PUNT PROTECTOR" jersey might make our list of best jerseys.

1. Mark Sanchez #6 - Really? I know it's rare, but I know one dweebus who's name rhymes with shman shnyder who jerks off into one each night. This jersey is symbolic of the Cerrato/Snyder brain freeze, anyone who supported this move is an idiot.

Also considered (excluded mostly because they are funny bad):

• Heath Shuler #5
• Albert Connell #83 (Just a little too funny for me, but if you see his jersey somewhere, it's probably a steal..........................i'll be here all night)
• Desmond Howard #80
• Tony Banks #12
• Ricky Williams #1 (yeah, that Ricky Williams, the one we basically traded for a future #1, which eventually became Lavar, who became nothing)
• Gus Frerotte #12

Let the argument continue! Anyone we missed or who doesn't belong? While you think about it I am going to go pour some boiling water down my throat to clear out the puke.

(Image courtesy of WashingtonPost.com)

Putting the 2009 NBA Draft, and John Hollinger, in Perspective

Much has been said about the 2009 NBA Draft being one of the worst ever, but is there really any validity to that claim?

While I direct enormous amounts of animosity toward ESPN's John Hollinger in emails concerning his lack of respect for the Washington Wizards (we finished 5th that year, John, not 13th), he does have a pretty interesting formula for projecting NBA success based on college efficiency. Let's test its accuracy, shall we?

We used his pre-draft Projected Player Efficiency Ratings (PER) to rank the last eight NBA Drafts, dating back to 2002. Unfortunately, Hollinger's formula only applies to college players. Our sincerest apologies, 2003 and 2004 drafts.

Here is a spreadsheet containing those pre-draft Projected PER Rankings for Hollinger's top 12 college prospects from 2002-2009. We simply added the total PER numbers in each year, and ranked each draft year 1-8. For example, according to Hollinger's system, the strongest NBA Draft in this span was projected to be the 2007 draft (sum PER: 171.81). The second strongest draft was supposed to be this 2009 draft (sum PER: 168.23). The third strongest draft was supposed to be the 2005 draft (sum PER: 164.02), etc.

We then compared these Projected Rookie PER Rankings against their actual rookie season PER rankings to analyze the accuracy of Hollinger's projection system. Here is what we found:


This tells us a few things.

1) John Hollinger can suck it. The drafts with the two worst top-12 Projected PERs (2004 an 2008) turned out to have the best rookie seasons, while the draft with the most promise (2007) actually had the worst top-12. Hollinger, you're one arrogant bastard.

2) The 2003 and 2004 rookie classes actually ranked as two of the best, even without the statistical presence of Lebron James (2003) and Dwight Howard (2004). That's impressive.

3) Based on Hollinger's unintentionally-discovered-by-me-semi-inverse-formula, the 2009 Draft class, while ranking 2nd out of the last eight drafts in Hollinger's projections, may actually be, as people have been saying, one of the worst. Just follow the opposite of Hollinger's predictions and you too can be your own internet Nostradamus!

But who knows? Only time, and a championship for the Washington Wizards, minus any picks from this potentially awful draft, will tell.

Bite me, Hollinger.

[Image via ESPN.com]

NFL Team Rankings - Super Bowl Era

A couple weeks ago, we came out with the 30-Year MLB Rankings. In that spirit, I am unveiling DCLS's 43-Year NFL Rankings.

Fourty-three years, of course, refers to the Super Bowl Era. It's purely semantic that the first four Super Bowls crowned an "AFL-NFL World Champion", whereas the next 39 crowned an "NFL World Champion", so spare me some ridiculous argument about the merger.

League-best numbers are in yellow and NFC East teams are color-coded (!) for your convenience as most of you can't read.

Huh?

Again, just as with the MLB Rankings, the scoring system may need some tweaking, and "Hot Cheerleaders" probably deserves a category of its own.

[Click table for a barely more focused view]

It pains me to see Dallas on top of such a list, but I knew what I was getting into when I applied the formula. So let's just not talk about that.

The Redskins at 9th is about where I expected them to be, and I can't hide my joy at the Eagles being division bottom-feeders, sitting at 14th overall. Praise.

What do you take from this? Other than the fact that the Eagles have won ZERO Super Bowls and have had ZERO MVP's, and are probably at least one life-altering dietary program by Donovan McFlabb away from getting a chance to lose another?

[Note: you could only absorb the above and I'd be happy]

1) The NFC East is not just the best division in football right now; it's the most prestigious division in football history. By a lot.

2) Looking at this list and seeing two separate franchises from Los Angeles in the top-5 and then realizing there is currently no pro football team in Los Angeles nearly makes my head explode.

3) Arizona is dreadful. Take away last year and you're looking at 11 total points in 43 years. Or, more simply, two 10-win seasons and four playoff appearances. In 43 years. Pathetic.

4) Lastly, speaking of pathetic, I'd like to reiterate that the Eagles have never won, and will never win, a Super Bowl Championship.

30 Year MLB Rankings: O's Mediocre, Nats Jealous

Today being the eve of the 2009 Strasburg draft, I thought I'd create a formula to rank all 30 major league teams over the last 30 years (1979-2008). Why only 30 years? Good question. According to my flawless logic, in a 30-year span, every team in a 30-team league should have one championship (let's ignore the strike-shortened season of 1994).

Here is the transcript of a potential conversation between Reader and Writer regarding these rankings:

Reader: The scoring on this is soooooo arbitrary!

Writer: Yes, and I don't care.

Reader: Did you really make a World Series Championship twice as valuable as a World Series Loss?!

Writer: Yes, I did.

Asshole Reader: I'm from Philly. Did you only date back to 1979 because the Phillies made the playoffs three consecutive seasons before that? I have herpes.

Asshole Writer: Sorry about the herpes, but you probably deserved it. And bingo, I did date back to only 1979 to reduce Philadelphia's score. Why? Because I can.

In all seriousness, though, these rankings are not perfect, and I wouldn't even argue if you told me my numbers were weighted arbitrarily.

Key:
Orioles
Nationals/Expos
Best in League. Must highlight this color to see it. There you go, punk.
Expansion Teams' Adjusted Total Points per 30 seasons

[If the table is blurry, just click on it for a slightly more focused view]


What stands out? Arizona so high. What doesn't? I'll give you a hint: it's right above this line.

The Washington/Montreal franchise has, just to confuse you, without fail succeeded at failure year-in and year-out. ONE playoff appearance in THIRTY years.

Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper can not arrive soon enough.