Sunday, April 25, 2010

Meet A Redskin: DT Marques Slocum, Internet Legend

Define yourself in 3 words...
"im da shit" -Marques Slocum, 2007

Skins fans are going to immediately fall in love with this guy.

Who da fuck is Harry Potter?!

Marques Slocum was signed as an undrafted free agent by the Redskins this weekend. He's listed at 6'5", 336 pounds, and played most recently for Eastern Arizona after a stint in Michigan.

Ahhh, those days in Michigan. You see, Joe Casualfan, you don't really know Marques Slocum. And that's a crying shame, if you ask me.

In 2007, Slocum decided it would be fun to take a quiz on facebook and publish it for all his friends to see. Sadly, I must admit that I am not Marcus Slocum's friend. But thank the lord someone is.

Head over to Every Day Should Be Saturday for the one of the more honest and ridiculous athlete Q&A sessions of all time. The entire transcript is far too long to post here, so I'll include some highlights below. My top 15, ranked for hilarity, in descending order:

15. Do you read harry potter books?

who da fuck is dat!

14. Favorite body part?

my whole fuckin body

13. Your favorite Disney Films?

fuck disney

12. How do you feel?

i feel like killin somebody so dont be dat person... lol....not really dont be dat person

11. What size shoe do you wear?

a big enouf size 2 boot chu da fuck up outta here

10. When do you plan on getting married?

it dont matta cuz i hope my wife know ima be playa 4 life

9. Kill the spider or let it out?

man! fuck dat spider

8. Favorite element?

i would have 2 go with.............. water

7. What do you do on fridays?

whatever da fuck i feel like doin

6. Do you eat cold cereal at night?

what da fuck is cold cereal

5. Where is Waldo?

i killed dat punk muthafucka he owed me money

4. Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?

shit ima be askin him 4 sum change

3. Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?

i got a fuck lion now come fuck wit me

2. Who do you admire most?

My mom CARLA, dat bitch da shit, i love her i think she da realest bitch alive

1. Where do you want to travel next?

da future

***


I can only hope the future involves Marques Slocum in a Redskins uniform come September. Please make the team. Seriously, I'm begging you.

9 comments:

  1. Goldmine! 15 great ones and you still might have missed my 3 favorites:

    3) Have you had a beer in the last week?
    shit I downed a forty last night in 2min. and 37sec. yea, beerfest bitch! im ready 4 da boot!

    2) Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?
    opera- no, musical- no, concert- maybe. play- no, performance- fuuuuuuuuuuuck no, other- no

    1) Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?
    what da fuck! i needs bof of my muthafuckin body parts

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  2. Nice!! Finally, someone for Albert Hangnail aka Albert Buttertub aka the $40M(con)Man to mentor!!!

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  3. fucking retarded

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  4. went to UM actually hung out with the guy a few times.. Swear is actually a good guy, dumb as rocks but I think he has a good heart again just don't know whats going on in that head of his.

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  5. Slocum is the man. Love that kid like a brother. If you look at the interview as satire like he did, you'd realize how smart he actually is.

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  6. hes a jerkoff , i play ball w him every mond and wed night , hes a retarded asshole. seriously , hes a dumb hoodrat that'll never make it in the league

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