DCLS is Always Right - Especially about Strasburg

About a month ago I posted on Stephen Strasburg's current trade value after 4 games in the big leagues. For sake of simplicity, I decided to not factor in team need or player contract, but Fangraphs has used their fancy stats and gone ahead and created a great trade value column taking into account player contract. So what changed from my very-arbitrary list? Not much.

The top-4, in order, are Evan Longoria, Jason Heyward, Strasburg, Hanley Ramirez. Well, whaddya know? Exactly the same as I had them. This is actually not surprising when you consider the fact that younger players are more valuable than older players (aside from Pujols, no one was over 26 on my list of players to consider), and also that young players generally have better contracts than older players in baseball. Therefore, adding contract in the the equation should not change my list very much.

The better question may be how has Strasburg's performance over the past month changed his ranking on my list. As Fangraphs states,

"This may be as high as any pitcher will ever rank on this list. Strasburg has been nothing short of sensational so far in the big leagues, posting a ridiculous 2.11 xFIP in his first eight starts. His stuff is better than anyone in baseball, and it’s hard to see hitters figuring him out as long as he keeps throwing this hard. Oh, and the Nationals control his rights through 2016. He won’t make any serious money for another three years, so for now, the Nationals get one of the game’s best pitchers at about 5 percent of his market value. But, as with any pitcher, the risks are significant. The superlatives could all disappear with one pitch, as it has for so many phenoms before him. Pitcher attrition would keep other teams from giving up the kitchen sink to get Strasburg, but as good as he is, the refrigerator is probably on the table."

I think it is safe to say at this point that only thing holding back Strasburg from being the #1 guy are the injury concerns that go with being a pitcher . There is no issue with him facing good lineups or the league facing him a 2nd time, he might already be the best pitcher in baseball, and isn't about to dropoff anytime soon. Revisiting my list, with or without contracts, I can only come up with the same list as that from Fangraphs, so have only moved Strasburg up one spot past Hanley Ramirez; I still have to rank Longoria and Heyward ahead of Pitching Jesus.

(Image courtesy of examiner.com)

ESPN Knows DC is The Most Depressing Sports City

I already posted on this subject on Bullets Forever, but ESPN released their Ultimate Team Standings for 2010 a few days ago and the results are about as nice as today's 106-degree weather for DC. For those who haven't heard of these 'Standings' before, ESPN ranks every pro franchise across the four major American sports yearly, 1-122, by using using a nationwide survey to determine aspects of a franchise such as 'affordability', 'fan relations' and 'winning titles'.

I didn't notice this article posted online before receiving my ESPN The Magazine, and like any DC sports fan, had the following reactions when I saw the Standings mentioned on the cover:

• I know my teams suck, and don't need rankings to tell me they suck
• Because my teams suck, I have no desire to skip to the rankings

To top it off, once I got to the rankings, I automatically scanned downward to work from the bottom-up to find the DMV teams. You know your teams suck when you start from the bottom and it didn't take long to find our boys......the Nationals, Orioles, Redskins, and Wizards come in at #s 94, 102, 105, and 120......out of 122 teams! Fortunately, the Caps are #11, and as we all already know, the 1 shining light in the DMV these days.

On the surface, nothing really surprised me except that the Wizards are below the Redskins. But reflecting on having 4 of our 5 teams be in the bottom 28 made me realize how jaded I have become. Seriously, I know we have Strasburg, and used to have Matt Wieters and Fat Albert Haynesworth (nope, still pissing me off, nevermind), but all of these teams are depressingly bad and have no championship in site. I already figured we are the worst sports city at this point when you consider the number of awful teams, and this ranking only furthers the notion.

What about Cleveland or Atlanta you say? Ha! The only city on the list to rival DC is actually NYC. The Knicks, Mets, Rangers, Giants, and Yankees, and Jets finished at 119, 107, 104, , 66, 62, and 50. I realize that the Caps pull our average ranking above that of any NYC combo, but our bottom 4 is worse, and the only reason NYC teams are so low is because of 'affordability'. Sure, I prefer that my team is affordable, but winning trumps everything and the Giants and Yankees have recent titles, and the Rangers won one about the same time as the last major DMV sports team. Making things worse is that the 'shining light of DC', the Caps, gave the DMV a collective kick in the balls by losing in the 1st round of the playoffs.

Maybe Shanahan turns things around in Ashburn, maybe Leonsis can do for the Wizards what he did for the Caps, maybe Pitching Jesus can carry the Nats, and maybe the Yankees, Red Sox, and Rays will cease to exist for the sake of the Orioles. For now though, there can't even be much of a debate that we are the most depressed sports city in the country.

(Images courtesy of deadspin.com and ryanberding.com)

National Outrage: Strasburg Not an All-Star!?!

I know this topic has been beaten into the ground, but MLB is making a insanely stupid mistake by not putting Stephen Strasburg on the NL All-Star team. The game is a marketing event and Pitching Jesus is the most marketable player in the league right now, bar none; the game is for the fans, and the fans want Strasburg. In addition to upsetting the regular fans, Bud Selig, Charlie Manuel, and whoever else there is to blame, have a great to chance to draw in some new fans who are intrigued by Strasburg. Even if he didn't pitch in the game, more people would tune in for the chance to watch (although there could be mini riots if he was on the roster and didn't pitch). Then there is the fact that Strasburg is not one of the 5 players in the running for the last roster spot. As much as Joey Votto deserves that last spot, Strasburg would be the clear favorite to be voted in by the fans. I am not 100% sure who creates the 5 person list for the last spot, but omitting Strasburg is a clear sign that they did not want him in this game for lord knows what reason and that he will not be in this game as an injury replacement.

Oh, but 'This time it counts' you say? Well then the NL should put their best players out there, and Pitching Jesus is without a doubt one of the best pitchers the in the league. Charlie Manuel said:

"He got quite a bit of consideration. He is going be an All-Star for a long time. What does he have, five starts? I just felt there are other guys who have started 18 to 20 games. I just felt, 'leave him alone and let him get used to the major league level." 

'Get used to the major league level?!?' Strasburg has been an absolute force thusfar, on par with the best pitchers in the league; it is safe to say he is doing just fine at adjusting to the major league level. At least that is very sporting of Mr. Manuel to be so concerned about the development of a division rival's star talent.

The 'hasn't pitched enough games' argument is greatly hindered by the fact that Omar Infante made the NL team as a Manager's selection. Infante has only playing in 57 of this team's 82 games thusfar and does not qualify for league leaderboards. Most healthy starters have pitched 17 games, but Infante's games played % gives that his equivalent would be a SP with only 11 or 12 starts.

Those are just the general points as to why Strasburg should be on the team, and don't even address the fact that Matt Capps was picked over him. Going by VORP, Capps has been the 11th best pitcher on the Nationals, and they are trying to tell me he should be an All-Star over Pitching Jesus? Just amongst Nationals relievers, Tyler Clippard is significantly more deserving. Clippard as the Nats representative I could at least swallow a little easier than Capps, but the bigger injustice is Josh Willingham. Based purely on performance, Willingham should be starting in this game; he is 6th in the NL in VORP, and 1st amongst outfielders. If you are going to pass over the most marketable and possibly best pitcher in the league by the All-Star break for only having 6 starts, at least get the guy you pick over him right. I understand Ryan Zimmerman is stuck behind 2 guys having great seasons at 3B, but the Nats have 2 better and more sensible candidates than Capps, excluding Strasburg.

Keith Law called Manuel's selections 'comically bad', and I have to agree. The Strasburg omission is outrageous. Manuel deserves to lose the All-Star game and then lose the World Series in game 7 in an AL park, now that would be some sweet justice.

(Image courtesy of awesomotime.files.wordpress.com)

Who Would You Trade for Stephen Strasburg?

After 4 glorious games, have we seen enough of Stephen Strasburg to annoint him as the most valued player in the world? If we put aside team need and contract, is there anyone in the league for whom you would trade Pitching Jesus? I know that some people are curious to see the 21 year old phenom against a better lineup, but this is more curiosity than a concern. Pitching Jesus is legit and the only long term concern is that pitchers are major injury risks, particularly ones throwing stinky cheese. I have been debating this all weekend with friends, and the list of guys I think are more valuable than Strasburg at this moment is short, really short. To be clear, we are doing something similar to the NBA trade value column that Sports Guy does for espn.com; we are disregarding team need and contract size, and only taking into account age, performance, position, etc. Here is the list of guys that I at least consider for Strasburg (with age in parentheses and in no particular order):

1. Matt Wieters (24) - Jokes!
2. Tim Lincecum (26) - Older than I realized, but seems a safe bet to avoid injury problems and pitch extremely well for years.
   
3. Hanley Ramirez (26) - Slightly on the old side, but plays a premium position.
   
4. Evan Longoria (24) - Younger than Hanley and without character issues despite not being as good of a hitter.
   
5. Jason Heyward (20) - The only player on the list younger than Pitching Jesus is having a monster rookie campaign. He does not play a premium position though, and has only proven himself for half a season.
   
6. Felix Hernandez (24) - Don't forget about King Felix. Healthy, young, and dominant puts him as a very strong possibility.
   
7. Justin Upton (22) - Going into the season, he was the best young hitter in the game, but has now lost that title to Heyward.
   
8. Yovani Gallardo (24) - He is proving himself this year and is still young.
   
9. Clayton Kershaw (22) - The youngest pitcher on this list and just a year older than Strasburg. His walk rate and G/F ratios are not good, but a ton of strikeouts and is keeping the ball in the park so far.
   
10. Ubaldo Jimenez (26) - The most dominant pitcher this season is a little older than I'd like, and does not have the track record to make me confident that he will continue maintain this level of performance.
    
11. Francisco Liriano (26) - having a terrific year, but age and history of arm trouble are not what I'm looking for.
12. Ryan Braun (26) - Stud hitter but a little old and plays LF.
    
13. Albert Pujols (30) - Absurd that a 30 year old can make this list, but he is just that good. He could maintain his level of performance for at least 6 more years and I wouldn't be surprised.
    
14. Josh Johnson (26) - A little old, and some previous arm trouble.
    

That is everyone, just 13 guys that would at least make the Nationals think. Some of my friends think none of these guys make the cut for Strasburg, but I think you have to trade him for the following:

1. Evan Longoria
2. Jason Heyward
3. Hanley Ramirez

As you can see, all 3 of these guys are hitters. The biggest concern for me is the injury risk, and I think you have to play it safe with a position player in these instances. Although Strasburg has a higher injury risk than some of the other pitchers, he is younger and better than his peers and thus no pitchers make the list; the closest call for me is Felix Hernandez, but you can't make that move. I also should note that Strasburg is the biggest draw in baseball right now, and the money he is worth to a team goes beyond his contributions to winning. However, Strasburg's shine will likely wear off a bit after this season, 'Oh, just another 8 K/0 BB/0 HR performance...'.

I can understand if you put Strasburg as the #1 asset in baseball and welcome everyone's opinions, but if Pitching Jesus can maintain his performance through the end of the season, there won't even be a debate.

(Image courtesy of gallery.fotoglif.com, ages and stats courtesy of espn.com and baseballprospectus.com)

What's Wrong with Matt Wieters? I know.

If you'd asked 2009 Red Rover to fill in the blank: "next season, Matt Wieters will have 5 home runs by ___," I would have answered "the third inning." That we are 67 games and more than 200 at-bats into this season and Wieters has only 5 home runs and a dreadful .230 batting average has me concerned. Not enough to abandon ship like some spineless traitor, but enough to pierce through the protective shield of numbness I have carefully crafted over the past decade of local sporting failure.

Popout.

Luckily, when disappointment of this magnitude strikes me, I have a fail-safe coping mechanism: I rationalize. I think of random stuff that's to blame for the shortcomings of my adopted extensions of self. After all, I'm totally awesome and therefore so are the athletes I root for. So, Matt Wieters, what ails ye?

1.) A strained ligament in the doohicky.
2.) Behind-the-scenes relationship strife with secret lover January Jones.
3.) His hands sting from the powerful fastballs of future aces and stalwart rookies Brian Matusz and Jakie Arrieta.
4.) He is lulling American League pitchers to sleep, poised to break out with a 50 HR second half.
5.) He is saving all of his strength to hit a 49 mile home run that nails Strasburg on the mound in DC that would thereby eliminate that attention-thieving foe and reintroduce Wieters to the local messianic spotlight.
6.) He is actually secretly Ted Leonsis. Man's been busy recently.
7.) He is so respectful of Ovechkin, he will wait until the Great 8 and the Caps get their Cup before he starts his career.
8.) He wants me to start rooting for the Nationals more.

If number 8 is the sole reason, then I guess Matt Wieters is God. Because isn't this EXACTLY like the biblical tests God gives to those Bible guys who have to, like, you know, avoid temptation and whatever? Like that dude who couldn't eat the apple and stuff? Or wasn't there a dude who God sent some once-in-a-generation flamethrowing ace to root for instead of an overhyped catching prospect up the road? I think that was Leviticus. See mom! I paid attention in Sunday school.

Well, GodWieters, I'm trying my damndest. Yet I find myself emotionally investing in the Nats success, and I'm struggling with this dilemma just like Rico Fantastic and Marion's Crackpipe. Although these new feelings come not at the expense of rooting for the O's, I fear someday they might. So throw me a bone here. Or at least make a female companion out of a bone for me, like you did with the apple thief. That would be pretty weird.

Shirts All DC Bros Should Own

Let me tell you a little about myself - I'm a bro.

I usually wear this on my sleeve, even though it's probably less apparent through the internet than face to face interactions.

In that light, here are some shirts all bros or aspiring bros should own. I already own a couple; so should you:

Brian Orakbro

Stephen Strasbro

Alex Brovechkin

Adam Brones

Bro Theismann

Don't Ice Me Bro

Satire Is Fun, Featuring Stephen Strasburg

For those of you who have read this blog since its inception over a year ago, you can probably tell I'm not a religious person. After all, I'm the guy who refers to Matt Wieters as Baseball Jesus, Jeffrey Maier as the antichrist, and Stephen Strasburg as Baseball Jesus II. Periodically, I unintentionally misspell Jesus with Jebus, and also, until two weeks ago, I thought "bible" was a verb that meant to "to drink".

So, for a laid back, non-religious, clearly-going-to-hell guy like me, the following satire from SB Nation Arizona's Justin Burning is hilarious:

After two pretty decent starting performances by Washington Nationals rookie Stephen Strasburg, Christian and Jewish leaders have come together in admitting that their doctrines have been inaccurate to this point.

"As it turns out, Strasburg is actually the messiah," said Pope Benedict XVI. "It's a simple mistake, really. We were looking for the wrong miracles. We all expected walking on water, healing the sick and other similar sorts of shenanigans. But we should have been tipped off by the 100 mph fastball."

The Pope paused briefly to laugh to himself and shake his head before continuing, "Have you seen that thing? It's smokin'. Struck those fools out looking."

Religious folks around the world have begun congregating en mass to determine how Strasburg's ascension to demigod will affect their lives going forward.

Devout Christian Bob Jones said, "Jesus Christ was a fine fellow, but 14 strikeouts? Shit's insane."

Already, Strasburg's followers have begun theorizing about the extent of his abilities.

"I heard his change-up can cleanse the soul of all sin," said Rosa Cortez, attendee of a local Washington D.C.-area Catholic church. "They're also saying he's got a curve ball that heals all physical disease."

Perhaps Strasburg's impact since June 8^th 2010 is best summarized by Rabbi Jacob Horowitz, "We are all better people for having witnessed Strasburg's killer pitching arsenal. It's unreal. Total Major League stuff. Christ. Oops, I mean ... Strasburg."

Be sure to click the full link for the graphic.

Also, I'm pretty sure we can put phrases like "Strasburg's change-up cleanses the soul of all sin" and "His curveball heals all physical disease" up there on the hilarity scale with Wieters Facts.

Is it Finally Time to Jump Ship and Be a Traitor?

I am following up on the post by our very own Alex Reed on SBNDC about jumping ship from the Orioles to the Nats (funny, because we get a lot of flack for being an Oriole-over-Nats blog). Well Alex, although I more often write about the O's and grew up supporting them with the country-folk from MD, I am absurdly jealous. You see, like any die hard sports fan, I am loyal to my teams to a fault, and force myself to sit through year after year of agony. Sure, the O's have no chance of even challenging, let along passing, the Yankees, Red Sox, and Rays, but that is what us sports fan must do - irrationally tell ourselves that things will turn around and that our undying support will be rewarded at some point; no matter how much it sucks, you must persevere. Personally, the most I can do when I know my team sucks is to just pay less attention. There are only so many hours in the day, so last season I to devoted many more of my viewing hours to the Caps than the Wizards or Orioles.

(No idea what this means, except it reminds me of my nightmares)

I have been looking for an out with the Orioles for a long time. I was truly born and raised in DC, so whereas the Skins, Wizards/Bullets, and Caps are all I ever knew and will know, I shouldn't be 100% attached to a team from Baltimore. Not only is there the geographical name difference, and that long-ass drive from DC to Camden Yards, but there is the general aura/fan base difference; I absolutely despise 'Thank God I'm a Country Boy' during the 7th inning stretch of O's games. I know the O's won a title in 1983, but that was before my time as a fan (and as a human being), so you can toss that idea out for me. I said for several years that if a MLB team moved to DC, I would take the opportunity to switch allegiances. From my mouth to God's ears....

In 2005, the Expos made their long-awaited move to become DC's baseball team and solve my problems, or so I thought. Breaking up was not as easy as I had anticipated. Firstly, at this point in my life, I no longer lived in DC and had no timetable to move back. As exciting as a DC baseball team sounded, in reality, I reaped no benefit from a team being close to my parents' home. I guess I would have an easier getting to a game when I visited DC, but I shouldn't have had any more attachment to this team than one from any other city.

Don't get me wrong, I still tried to love the Nats and give them my split my allegiance to ease into a full breakup with the O's, but it didn't work. Maybe it was the move away from the DMV locking me into my childhood team, but I felt as though I was stuck with the O's for life - in sickness and in health, through good times and bad times, or something like that.

The Sports Guy has said there are 2, and only 2, legitimate reasons for changing your team allegiance:
1) Your team moves.
2) Your team has an owner that is beyond awful.

The O's definitely didn't move, but are one of the few teams to fit perfectly under #2. So to recap the reasons for DC folks not to support the O's are:
1) Angelos is the anti-Christ
2) The O's are not actually located in Baltimore, and actually are a good distance away
3) The O's make efforts to associate with MD, not DC
4) A DC alternative exists

(The amazing DC alternative)

As my interest in baseball as a whole has dwindled, I am thinking that it is time to re-evaluate this whole team switch idea. I have been trying to get excited about the wave of Oriole talent hitting the bigs, but with Matt Wieters giving me blue balls, I realize deep down that the O's have no shot unless all the stars align. For the O's to just compete with the elite of the AL East, almost all of the prospects and young players will have to reach their ceiling, and then Angelos will have to go out and spend money wisely. Even then, the Sox and Rays have better farm systems, and the Yanks have more money, so let's just be realistic and say the O's aren't going to be a playoff contender unless some crack drug lord buys the team and does not concern himself with the salary cap/revenue sharing (the Baltimore community would at least provide strong financial support). As much as I love Cal Ripken Jr. (love him like the father of Baseball Jesus), it will take more than that half-man/half-machine to turn around the O's.

Amidst this indifference, I moved back to DC (proper) this year for a new job, and have found my baseball lack of caring combated strongly by the Nats resurgence (just surgence?). I will be the first to tell you that Strasburg, 17-year-old Harper, Zimmerman, and Dunn do not a playoff team make, but I am paying attention to this team and attending their games. Instead of an arranged marriage with the Orioles, or the 'You're Jewish and she's Jewish and has nice parents' when the Nats moved to DC, this relationship with the Nats feels more natural. I want to be clear that this funny feeling inside does not just have to do with the Nats being successful, and I definitely do not want to jump on a bandwagon too late and be a front-runner. It is more that my relationship with the O's has never been weaker, and now is the perfect time for the Nats to 'steal me away'. I don't think the Nats are built for long-term success just yet, and thus may not be the prettiest girl in the room, but they do live close-by, and Strasburg basically gives them a really nice set of tits. And you know what? I've been in an awful relationship for so long that I am not looking for much. I know I can't just flip a switch and go steady with the Nats and fully extricate myself from the Orioles, but the proximity and nice tits might just be enough incentive to go ahead with a divorce.

(Image courtesy of balorioles.mlblogs.com and voices.washingtonpost.com)

Stephen Strasburg Gives New Meaning To The Term 'Knee-Buckler'

Normally, a pitcher labors through the final outs of any outing. The human arm just wasn't designed to throw a baseball 100 miles per hour repeatedly in a few-hours' span.

Well, Stephen Strasburg isn't your normal pitcher. In his debut, he actually got stronger the further into the game he pitched, evidenced by retiring 10 consecutive batters following Delwyn Young's 2-run HR, the last 7 of which were struck out consectuively.

But take a look at the last batter he faced, Andy LaRoche. The poor third baseman struck out on three pitches:

Pitch 1: 83 MPH curveball (called strike)
Pitch 2: 83 MPH curveball (swinging strike)
Pitch 3: 99 MPH fastball (swinging strike)

It's the last pitch that really sticks out: 99 mile per hour gas on his 94th and final pitch of the ball game? Are you kidding me?!

While the 99 mile per hour heat is surely a joy to watch, it's that first pitch that was so unhittable it was silly.

Thanks to SB Nation's Jeff Sullivan, we have the GIF (click to view animation):

How do those knees feel, Mr. LaRoche?

Livan Hernandez: Strikeout Pitcher Extraordinare

First off, we apologize for the lack of anything resembling even a short blog post recently. Work duties call for all. I'd like to say it will never happen again, but who am I kidding? It probably will.

Livan Hernandez has never been considered a "strikeout pitcher". His effectiveness, especially in the late stage of his career, has been largely due to some craftiness, tough off-speed stuff, and the thing people like to call "intangibles" because they don't really know what it is. He just gets it done, simple as that.

So last night, as I was watching the first half of the Nats-Giants tilt, I was amazed as I saw Livan register 4 K's through 4 innings of work.

The strikeout pitches lacked...what is that word? Heat. They lacked heat, to say the very least.

I went onto MLB.com for confirmation. What exactly was he throwing? Why couldn't Juan Uribe hit anything?!

K1 (Aubrey Huff, looking): 70 MPH curveball
K2 (Juan Uribe, swinging): 64 MPH curveball
K3 (Andres Torres, swinging): 79 MPH changeup
K4 (Juan Uribe, swinging): 65 MPH curveball

Let's for a moment forget that Livan had his first forgettable outing of the season. I guess he was due.

What non-knuckle-ball pitcher incorporates so much off-speed stuff in his repertoire? Nobody as effective as Livan, and that's why we love his guts.

Nats and O's, By the Numbers

Raise your hand if you predicted that the Nats would be three games above .500 and two games out of first place in the NL East by May 10, with their best player missing 8 games, their second best player working his way through the minors, and an imposing opening schedule to boot.

Put your hand down - you're lying and nobody can see you anyway.

What makes the Nationals' early season success so interesting is that they've seemingly switched places with the Orioles, known for their early season hot starts and infamous for their late season collapses. The Orioles sit 30th among 30 MLB teams at the moment and the season's only relative bright spot, Brian Matusz, got lit up yesterday.

How do the Nats keep winning ball games? I'm gonna unscientifically say timely hitting interspersed with the occasional quality start and an absolutely LETHAL late inning pitching combination, courtesy of Tyler Clippard and Matt Capps.

For fun, I decided to compare the Nationals and Orioles in terms of their places in the standings and their offensive and pitching statistics. MLB rankings are applied in parentheses where appropriate (click tables to enlarge).

The Nats are 2 games behind the Phillies in the NL East and 1.5 games behind the Giants for the NL Wild Card; the Orioles are 13.5 games behind the Rays in the AL East and 13 games behind the Yankees for the AL Wild Card.

**BONUS Fun Fact: The Orioles have the 2nd worst home record and the worst road record in the MLB!

Now a look at the teams' offensive outputs (ed. note: the O's actually have 107 runs but I'm too lazy to go back and fix the tables):

Both teams are far from elite offensively, but the Nats are getting on base at a much higher rate and manufacturing a lot of runs because of that. Ten of the Orioles' 30 HR have come off the bat of journeyman Ty Wigginton. Expect a regression to the mean from that guy fairly soon.

**BONUS Fun Fact: The Orioles are hitting .220 with runners in scoring position (29th in MLB) and the Nats are hitting .264 (12th in MLB)!

Finally, some pitching statistics:

Only one thing stands out here, and you can't underestimate its importance: the Nats are 13/17 in save opportunities compared to the Orioles' 6/12 mark. How many consecutive years have the bullpens of these clubs been their Achilles heels? Too many for me to even try to count. Tyler Clippard and Matt Capps have solidified the back end for the Nationals. Mike Gonzalez has solidified his position as Dany Baez 2.0 for the Orioles, a solid relief pitcher who cashed in on a good contract year and couldn't handle 9th inning pressure.

**BONUS Fun Fact: Mike Gonzalez is worthless!

***

Can the Nats keep this up? Let's hope so. Can the O's turn things around? Probably not.

But we have all summer to do nothing but find out. Thanks, Caps.

Do You Remember April 18, 2006?

You probably don't, and I don't blame you.

So I was sitting in the bar with my buddy from Boston last night watching the Celtics wrap up Game 1 with the Cavs, and this comes out of his mouth in my direction:

"Celts waan, B's waan, Sax waan. Great frickin' day fa Baaaaston spaarts."

Translation:

"The Celtics and Bruins are doin' work in the postseason, the best is yet to come for the Red Sox, and you can go screw yourself."

I was so jealous. The Caps and Wizards are currently working on their short games and, while the Nats have been a pleasant surprise thus far and appear to be on the right track, they aren't exactly championship material.

So I got to thinking: when was the last time the Nats, Wizards, and Caps all won on the same day? Scheduling presents obvious obstacles - barring playoff runs by both hockey and basketball teams, the three would only have a few weeks at the beginning of the baseball season to simultaneously emerge victorious. I did a little research and found the answer.

I guess the title of this post is what you'd call a spoiler, but you got it: April 18, 2006. The winningest day in DC professional sports in the last five years.

Wizards: Gilbert Arenas scored 43 points and added 5 assists and 4 steals as the Wizards beat the Bucks, 116-103, inching closer to clinching that "coveted" 5th seed in the Eastern Conference. Why is coveted in quotes? Because the 4 seed Cleveland Cavaliers were waiting, and we all know how that went. Still, it's funny to read the AP recap's theory at the time: "Fifth is important because no one wants to face one of the top three seeds when Cleveland, returning to the playoffs after an eight-year absence, is an available opponent at No. 4."

Nationals: Ryan Church (OMG, flashback) went 2 for 5 with a HR and 4 RBI, Ryan Zimmerman went 2 for 5 with 3 RBI, and Tony Armas, Jr. (OMG, flashback) pitched 6 solid innings as the Nats beat the Phillies, 10-3. The Nats pulled to 5-9 on the season with the victory and would end the year 71-91.

Capitals: The final game of the season for the Caps was a doozy, beating the playoff bound Tampa Bay Lightning - the defending Stanley Cup Champs, no less - by a score of 4-1. Alex Ovechkin wrapped up his Rookie of the Year campaign with his 54th assist of the season, putting him at 106 points. Also picking up points on the night? A few of these should elicit a chuckle or two: Jeff Halpern, Brian Willsie, Ben Clymer, Nolan Yonkman, Brooks Laich, Steve Eminger, Dainus Zubrus, and Matt Bradley.

***

So there you have it. Not quite the greatest day in DC sports history. Nope, not even close. But perhaps the most complete in quite some time.

And finally, to answer the question on all your minds, April 18, 1025, was also the day that Bolesław I Chrobry was crowned in Gniezno, becoming the first King of Poland.

Now What?

The slow slog of summer has begun approximately 1.5 months too soon. If you're an insane person like me, you had carved out much of your free time for the next six weeks to allow for fretting by day and watching Caps games by night. I actually planned a bachelor party around the potential dates of the Stanley Cup Parade. So I'm feeling pretty empty right now.

Bill Simmons tweeted before Game 7: "If the Caps blow Game 7, DC vaults past Seattle for Most Depressed Sports City honors." I'd say the crown fits. Wouldn't you?

So, what do we have to look forward to until Redskins training camp begins the miserable cycle of DC sports seasons anew? Here's the quick rundown:

Washington Capitals
June 25-26 draft. Perhaps an exciting trade in the works? I'm thinking sign-and-trade Fleischmann for a bale of hay.

July 1: Free agency begins. Probably gone: Shaone Morrissonn, Brendan Morrison, Joe Corvo, Scott Walker. Possibly gone: Eric Belanger. Hopefully re-signed: Boyd Gordon, Eric Fehr, Jeff Schultz. Hopefully newly signed: Free agent stay-at-home and make-yourself-at-home-in-DC Russian defenseman Anton Volchenkov no later than 12:01 AM July 1.

Other potential intrigue: The kids (including American Hero John Carlson, future blueline fixture Karl Alzner, future next-Dale-Hunter Stefan Della Rovere, future 2nd line center Mattieu Perrault and potential future goalie Braden Holtby) go for a second straight Calder Cup championship with Hershey.


Washington Redskins
Endless RI posts falsely boosting our hopes and dreams for the Shanahan era. They've already started: "Redskins Receivers Should Have Great Success In Shanahan's Scheme." Anyone who buys into posts like this, I have a sex-switching unicorn I'd like to sell you.

Other potential intrigue: The Haynesworth saga: Will he stay or will he go?


Washington Nationals
They're currently above .500. They have good chemistry or something. They also have a pretty big NEGATIVE RED run differential, a sure sign they're in for a fall. Most exciting thing to look forward to: Strasburg's late July call-up. It's only a matter of time before Bodog posts a prop-bet on the over/under date for that inevitable happening. When it does, I'm putting all of my current liquid assets (approximately $312.43 plus a coupon for a free coffee) on the under.

Other potential intrigue: Bumbling ownership group and team President Stan Kasten - what new travesty of mismanagement can they think of next?


Baltimore Orioles
Most recently, they swept the sorry Boston Red Sox. 7-19 and climbing! Wieters is pretty good but not quite savior-esque...yet. Roberts is injured (he's getting old, totally predictable), Jones and Markakis are barely hitting and our best player (Ty Wigginton) is a free-agent cast-off whose hot streak will inevitably end. The AL East crown is theirs to lose.

I'm watching closely the progress of the O's future ace, lefty Brian Matusz. Dude is awesome (3-1 K/BB ratio, 1.34 whip, I think that's good). Rookie of the Year type stuff. I have a man-crush. You should too.

Other potential intrigue: When will the rest of the Cavalry arrive? Chris Tillman just pitched a no-hitter down in AAA. Rad.


Washington Wizards
Ironically, the team I'm least interested in owing to their perpetual sorry state and the waste of time that is rooting for a non-Lebron/Kobe/Howard/Wade/Durant/Duncan NBA team, will provide us with the most interesting moment this summer: the NBA DRAFT LOTTERY!! Where hopes and dreams of NBA teams are either made or shattered for the next decade. Consensus #1 pick John Wall is a franchise-changer in the mold of Dwyane Wade, but with a sweeter high school highlight video and more easily rappable name for Wale to throw into a verse. The Wiz have a 10.3% chance of getting the #1 overall pick.

Barring this miracle, apparently the Wizards have more free agent money than originally thought. That's a nice Plan B in case hinging our entire hopes and dreams on a 1 in 10 chance falls through. I bet they sign LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, Kobe Bryant and Joba Chamberlain.

Other potential intrigue: New owner Ted Leonsis changing the uniforms and/or team name back to the red, white and blue? Man do I hope so...probably too soon. Leonsis is too savvy to trample all over a DC icon like Abe Pollin before it's time. But 93% of fans want it and Leonsis is a man of the people so it's happening sooner or later.

***

It's going to be a long summer. In the meantime, enjoy The Human Centipede.

The Best DC Sports Nicknames

With Trent "Silverback" Williams joining the Skins and generating a lot of buzz about his nickname, I thought it was high time to rank the top nicknames amongst all DC sports figures. This list is completely arbitrary, but I think the key factors of a good nickname are:

-Likeability
-Humor
-Widespread usage
-Originality

Please note that I do not think deservedness of the nickname should be taken into account, and that each nickname is considered on its own, so one player could have more than one nickname on the list.

10) Smokin' (Al Koken): I say sportscasters count, and this is a classic. My favorite thing about it is that he now just says 'Smokin' Al', without the part that rhymes. That's when you know you've made it....

9) Silverback (Trent Williams): Solid, likeable, and will likely be widespread very soon. A black man choosing a nickname related to a gorilla though could lead to some awkward situations, so I can't put this one any higher. That and he hasn't played an NFL snap yet.

8) Young Sushi (Nick Young): Not widespread, but original and funny. You also don't know me very well if you didn't think I would promote the nickname we first publicized.

7) Jizz (Alexander Semin): Umm, hysterical? For an extensive list of Caps nicknames, visit Japers Rink.

6) Agent Zero/Six Shooter (Gilbert Arenas): Agent Zero is one of the most widespread real nicknames (not fake ones like KG or D-Wade) and is original. However, he has changed to #6 for this season so the nickname may fade from prominence. I think Six Shooter has a lot of potential though.

5) The Predator (Chris Horton): Badass, but undeserved, although maybe he can 're-earn' the nickname when he inevitably plays his trade in the CFL.

4) Mr. Nasty (Jeff Schultz): Great, but not entirely original (remember the Nasty Boys with the Cincinnati Reds?).

3) Game Over (Mike Green): This one is undeserved, but is original and badass. Although this will continue to make me angry until next April.

2) Captain Chaos (Chris Cooley): I actually met Cooley after a game and asked about the nickname and he said he hates it, which is probably why it lost some of its popularity.

1) The Russian Machine (Alexander Ovechkin): Perfect, just perfect.

Honorable Mention:

• Baseball Jesus (Matt Wieters): Not widespread and Jesus would probably slug over .400.
• The Professor (Matt Bradley): Cool, but not quite as good as those of some of his teammates.
• Wookie/Chewy (Stephon Heyer): Courtesy of his Redskin teammates.
• Real American Hero (John Carlson): This one is great, but too long and not widespread.
• Pudge (Ivan Rodriguez): A classic nickname, but Pudge does not feel like a true DC athlete given that he will likely only be here 1 year.
• Hibachi (Gilbert Arenas): This would have made the list a year ago.......
  
• Mean Lars (Nicklas Backstrom): Solid nickname, but not as cool or exciting as others.
• Magnum Z.I. (Ryan Zimmerman): Interesting, but not widely used. "Pete Franchise" is another one of his, but he needs something better.
  
• Coach Kevlar (Mike Shanahan): Coach nicknames aren't exciting.
• The Undertaker (George McPhee): GM nicknames are even less exciting.
• Double-Move (Carlos Rogers): I kid, I kid.

The list suffers from the recent losses of Tuff Juice (Caron Butler) and Cybertawn (Antawn Jamison), but is still pretty awesome. The Skins have a lot of untapped potential, but the Caps are picking up the slack. Let me know your thoughts, is anyone missing from the list?

(Image courtesy of brokenmystic.files.wordpress.com)

Nats/O's: Draft this kid!

Forget Bryce Harper. He's too old. Over the hill. Washed up. Past his prime.

Enter Ariel Antigua, the future of major league baseball. He's only 5 years old (via Deadspin, h/t Doc):



And you're trying to tell me that either of our two area baseball teams wouldn't drastically improve right now with this kid's services? Didn't think so.

2010 MLB Predictions

Similar to our NHL Preview - which in hindsight was horribly wrong in so many ways - we decided to compile our predictions for the upcoming MLB Season.

I can't decide what I'm more excited for: Matt Wieters & Brian Matusz, Round II, or Stephen Strasburg for the first time. I think when they face off in May during interleague play my head might explode. I'm looking forward to that (especially in light of this Donovan Mcnabb...situation).

On to the predictions, which are listed division by division, followed by playoff predictions and two major individual awards. Feel free to sift through the unimportant stuff (like when the Yankees, Red Sox, or Phillies are listed first at anything).

AL East

Consensus:

1. (tie) Boston
1. (tie) New York
3. Tampa Bay
4. Baltimore
5. Toronto

Breakdown:

Rico Fantastic - 1. Boston, 2. New York, 3. Tampa Bay, 4. Baltimore, 5. Toronto
Red Rover - 1. Boston, 2. Tampa Bay, 3. New York, 4. Toronto, 5. Baltimore
Marion's Crackpipe - 1. New York, 2. Tampa Bay, 3. Boston, 4. Baltimore, 5. Toronto
Iafrate's Baldspot - 1. New York, 2. Boston, 3. Tampa Bay, 4. Baltimore, 5. Toronto

Comments:

Baby steps for the O's?! What a sexy pick for 4th place in the AL East, if I may say so myself. And to think, only a few years ago we took 4th place for granted. Ahh, the days when the Rays were the Devil Rays. I refuse to talk about the Red Sox or the Yankees. It's just no fun. You know what else is no fun? This Red Rover character. Have some faith in the O's, bro. They don't need your reverse-jinxing nonsense. Baseball Jesus the First is jinx-proof and you know it.

AL Central

Consensus:

1. Minnesota
2. Detroit
3. Chicago
4. Cleveland
5. Kansas City

Breakdown:

Rico Fantastic - 1. Detroit, 2. Minnesota, 3. Chicago, 4. Cleveland, 5. Kansas City
Red Rover - 1. Minnesota, 2. Chicago, 3. Detroit, 4. Cleveland, 5. Kansas City
Marion's Crackpipe - 1. Minnesota, 2. Detroit, 3. Chicago, 4. Cleveland, 5. Kansas City
Iafrate's Baldspot - 1. Minnesota, 2. Detroit, 3. Cleveland, 4. Chicago, 5. Kansas City

Comments:

I'm the lone ranger when it comes to doubting the Twins. Not because I don't like the Twins or anything (although I will admit a slight bitterness toward Joe Mauer for discovering his power before Wieters bursted on the scene). I just think the Tigers' lineup will generate a ton of runs. Scott Sizemore will be as good as people think and Miguel Cabrera will be sober even better than he has been. I trust their rotation a lot more than the Twins', too. Scott Baker as your ace will never cut it.

AL West

Consensus:

1. Los Angeles
2. (tie) Seattle
2. (tie) Texas
4. Oakland

Breakdown:

Rico Fantastic - 1. Los Angeles, 2. Seattle, 3. Texas, 4. Oakland
Red Rover - 1. Los Angeles, 2. Oakland, 3. Texas, 4. Seattle
Marion's Crackpipe - 1. Seattle, 2. Texas, 3. Los Angeles, 4. Oakland
Iafrate's Baldspot - 1. Los Angeles, 2. Texas, 3. Seattle, 4. Oakland

Comments:

The Angels just might have the best rotation, 1-5, in the Majors. Non-apologies to the Red Sox and Yankees. When Joe Saunders and Joel Pineiro are your #3 and #4, respectively, you have a huge advantage over other teams. Kendry Morales will continue to be awesome, with Torii Hunter and Bobby Abreu providing the veteran presence in the lineup. I don't think the Mariners are that far behind if Erik Bedard can stay healthy, which would give them a formidable top three of King Felix, Cliff Lee, and Bedard. But come on. Bedard cannot and will not stay healthy, so the point's moot.

NL East

Consensus:

1. Philadelphia
2. Atlanta
3. New York
4. Florida
5. Washington

Breakdown:

Rico Fantastic - 1. Philadelphia, 2. New York, 3. Atlanta, 4. Florida, 5. Washington
Red Rover - 1. Atlanta, 2. Philadelphia, 3. New York, 4. Florida, 5. Washington
Marion's Crackpipe - 1. Philadelphia, 2. Atlanta, 3. Florida, 4. New York, 5. Washington
Iafrate's Baldspot - 1. Philadelphia, 2. Florida, 3. New York, 4. Atlanta, 5. Washington

Comments:

Here are a few things for Nats fans to be excited about during the upcoming season: Baseball Jesus the Second's MLB debut, the continued incomprehensible sub-4.00 ERA a-la Jeremy Guthrie from John Lannan, a full season with Nyjer Morgan leading off, and the perennial awesomeness of Ryan Zimmerman. Unfortunately, there are many things Nats fans should be lamenting: Jason Marquis (career ERA 4.48, career WHIP 1.42) masquerading as a staff ace, 38-year old Ivan Rodriguez stealing precious playing time from Jesus Flores, the absence of Jordan Zimmerman, and a manager who has an unfortunate history with pitching phenoms. Other than that, things look great!

NL Central

Consensus:

1. St. Louis
2. Chicago
3. Milwaukee
4. Cincinnati
5. Houston
6. Pittsburgh

Breakdown:

Rico Fantastic - 1. St. Louis, 2. Milwaukee, 3. Cincinnati, 4. Chicago, 5. Houston, 6. Pittsburgh
Red Rover - 1. St. Louis, 2. Cincinnati, 3. Chicago, 4. Milwaukee, 5. Houston, 6. Pittsburgh
Marion's Crackpipe - 1. St. Louis, 2. Chicago, 3. Milwaukee, 4. Cincinnati, 5. Houston, 6. Pittsburgh
Iafrate's Baldspot - 1. St. Louis, 2. Chicago, 3. Milwaukee, 4. Cincinnati, 5. Houston, 6. Pittsburgh

Comments:

Three things you can be certain of in this world: death, taxes, and the Pittsburgh Pirates missing out on the playoffs. And you can take that to the bank.

NL West

Consensus:

1. Los Angeles
2. Colorado
3. San Francisco
4. Arizona
5. San Francisco

Breakdown:

Rico Fantastic - 1. Los Angeles, 2. San Francisco, 3. Colorado, 4. Arizona, 5. San Diego
Red Rover - 1. Colorado, 2. Los Angeles, 3. San Francisco, 4. Arizona, 5. San Diego
Marion's Crackpipe - 1. Colorado, 2. Los Angeles, 3. San Francisco, 4. Arizona, 5. San Diego
Iafrate's Baldspot - 1. Los Angeles, 2. San Francisco, 3. Colorado, 4. Arizona, 5. San Diego

Comments:

The NL West is by far my favorite division in baseball. The presumed top three teams each can make  a legitimate claim as a World Series contender. Three of my favorite players in baseball play in this division: Pablo Sandoval, Matt Kemp, and Troy Tulowitzki. The best pitcher in the history of the world not named Brian Matusz is Clayton Kershaw. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating. But the race for the NL West will be exciting. It will never outhype that lame Yankees-Red Sox-Rays thing, but I wouldn't be surprised if it came down to the final game of the year for the divisional crown.

Wild Card Picks

Rico Fantastic - New York (AL), San Francisco (NL)
Red Rover - Tampa Bay (AL), Philadelphia (NL)
Marion's Crackpipe - Tampa Bay (AL), Atlanta (NL)
Iafrate's Baldspot - Boston (AL), Chicago (NL)

World Series Picks

Rico Fantastic - Los Angeles Angels over Los Angeles Dodgers
Red Rover - Colorado Rockies over Tampa Bay Rays
Marion's Crackpipe - New York Yankees over Colorado Rockies
Iafrate's Baldspot - New York Yankees over Los Angeles Dodgers

MVP Picks

Rico Fantastic - Alex Rodriguez, NYY (AL); Prince Fielder, MIL (NL)
Red Rover - Carl Crawford, TB (AL); Albert Pujols, STL (NL)
Marion's Crackpipe - Joe Mauer, MIN (AL); Albert Pujols, STL (NL)
Iafrate's Baldspot - Alex Rodriguez, NYY (AL); Ryan Howard, PHI (NL)

Cy Young Picks

Rico Fantastic - Felix Hernandez, SEA (AL); Clayton Kershaw, LAD (NL)
Red Rover - Brett Anderson, OAK (AL); Tim Lincecum, SF (NL)
Marion's Crackpipe - Felix Hernandez, SEA (AL); Roy Halladay, PHI (NL)
Iafrate's Baldspot - Jon Lester, BOS (AL); Roy Halladay, PHI (NL)

More Brutality: Nationals' Early Season Schedule

It looks like the O's aren't the only area team facing a ridiculously difficult stretch in the first month or so of the season. Dear Baseball Gods, what did we do to deserve this??

Will we be seeing Stephen Strasburg sooner than we thought?

Buster Olney reports (must be ESPN Insider to read full article) on the toughest NL schedules early on:

1. 1. Washington Nationals
   Home/away: 19 of their first 40 games are at home.
   Games against teams that finished over .500 in 2009: 31 of their first 40 games.
   Meat-grinder stuff: The Nationals will get challenged right from the start, with six of their first nine games against the Phillies, and starting on April 19, they play a stretch of 19 straight games against teams that contended last year. Maybe it would be good to call up Stephen Strasburg in May, to let him get his career started under a little less stress than he already is going to face.

Nat's and O's: punished for futility by not getting to play themselves since forever 1997!

FEROCIOUS Beltway Battle for Jesus Moniker?!

 Maybe not ferocious, but it'd be a lot cooler if it was.

DCLS favorite Matt Wieters a.k.a "Baseball Jesus" might have some competition across the beltway in Stephen Strasburg a.k.a..."Baseball Jesus"?

Tim Kurkjian reports:

"It's pretty funny,'' Strasburg said, "[Center fielder] Nyger Morgan called me 'Jesus.'''

It's unclear whether Strasburg will start the season in the minors, which was the original expectation, or if Nat's management might be tempted to give him a spot on the opening day roster.

What is clear, however, is that this nickname thing should sort itself out soon enough. The world - let alone the beltway - ain't big enough for two Jesuses. Or is it Jesusi? Jebuses?

I'll just stop.

Not So Breaking News: The Nats Are Not Thaaat Good

Maybe I jumped the gun a bit, but the abusrdly optimistic projection by Baseball Prospectus (BP) that pegs the Nats for 82 wins has since been changed, twice. The Nats projection dropped to 81 wins, and then 76. This means the Nats have already managed to lose 6 games in the span of a week, and it's only February.

Even though I am a huge stat nerd and believe in the BP metrics, I still am having trouble seeing the Nats win 76 games (76-86). Vegas seems to agree with me, as even though over/under win totals are not available, the Nats have been given the worst odds in the league to win the World Series, even worse than the Pirates. I'd love to be proven wrong, but Jason Marquis is listed as the #1 starter right now, which is all I need to know.

(Image courtesy of cdn1.sbnation.com)

Orioles and Nats Offseason Projections

Only 16 days until pitchers and catchers report, so the baseball offseason is amazingly all but over, and we can start getting a good idea of what next season holds for the Birds and Nats.

The biggest news to come out is that Nick Markakis now looks like he plays open mic night at Nanny O'Brien's, but the other news is that Baseball Prospectus just released their team projections for 2010. The highlights are that the 3 best teams all will reside in the AL East, the Yankees will be the 3rd best team in the entire league but miss the playoffs, and the Nats are projected to jump up to 82 wins! The Orioles? BP has the birds at a respectable 79 wins, which is impressive when the strength of the competition is considered.

The other exciting news is that Keith Law just ranked the O's farm system as #6 in the league, despite Baseball Jesus and Chris Tillman not counting in that ranking due to their 'graduations'. If that 1 guy and 1 god are included, the O's could very easily be #1 on that list. The bad news is that the Yankees still reside in New York, and the Red Sox and Rays have the #2 and #3 systems. The other bad news is that the Nats sit all the way down at #23.

Law also ranks the top-100 prospects overall, with Strasbourg #2 overall, Oriole Brian Matusz #11, Oriole Zach Britton #25, Nat Derek Norris #31, Oriole Josh Bell #61, Oriole Jake Arrieta #90, and Nat Drew Storen #92. Law also notes that future Nat SS Ian Desmond narrowly missed the top-100.

So where does this leave us? First, I have a new respect for Nick the Greek because of that savage beard. Second, Orioles will not surprisingly again toil below the MLB elite, who happen to reside in the same division. Finally, 2011 is still a big year for the O's, but the Red Sox, Yankees, and Rays are all still better positioned (just wait until Joe Mauer is a Yankee in 2011), so expectations should be tempered, except for one thing.............we've got Wieters.........

(Image courtesy of misterirrelevant.com)