Thursday, June 11, 2009

Wilbon Loses Mind, Keeps Job

Take a good look at what Michael Wilbon puked out in the first sentence of his Washington Post column this morning:

"No way in the world I'd have taken Stephen Strasburg with the No. 1 pick in the draft."

Now read it again. And again.

Normally, while reading a Wilbon column, we have to wait at least three or four sentences before he regurgitates some absolute garbage he ate for breakfast that morning. But not on this special occasion.

I've made the argument several times that Wilbon knows nothing about sports, but perhaps I'm being a little harsh. So let me rephrase that: Wilbon knows nothing about DC sports.

Hey, douchebag, here's an idea! Why don't you pretend to know anything about the Nats and then write your "expert" opinion in a column the morning following potentially the most important day in the history of a franchise that has set unprecedented lows for futility?

You pretty much did the same thing prior the Caps-Pens series, pretending for brief a moment that you both know about hockey and care how close Ovechkin and Crosby push the sport to the cusp of - dare I say - nationwide popularity.

Wilbon's assertion that the Nationals drafted Strasburg solely as a P.R. move to appease their diehard, loyal fanbase, all 74 of them, proves that he has finally given up watching sports. Could it be, perhaps, that Strasburg was indeed the best player available, that the pick was not entirely made to put butts in the seats?

Not according to Wilbon.

"I wouldn't draft a guy who's going to play every fifth day to improve my team's attendance. And I certainly wouldn't pin my hopes on the most fragile thing in baseball: the arm of a young pitcher."

Holy crap, brilliant! Why EVER draft a pitcher?! He's only going to play once every five days, and he might get injured!

Wilbon ends his miserable column by alluding to the city of Boston and almost completely contradicting what he had said earlier about Strasburg. I know. Shocking.

"Had the Red Sox drafted Strasburg, I'd be less likely to think this had "bad move" written all over it because the Red Sox, of recent vintage anyway, make decisions that lead to first place while the Nationals mostly look like the Charlie Brown All-Stars. "

Then move to Boston, Wilbon. Or back to Chicago.

Either way, get the hell out of DC.

[Image via Smarter Sports Blog]


  1. Look if he knew anything about DC sports how would he be able to waive masks on sticks at Kornheiser 5x a week and still make it to celebrity golf tournaments? Priorities gentlemen...

  2. I don't know what you're talking about Rico. Everyone knows the smart baseball move would have been to draft Dustin Ackley. But noooo, the Nats just wanted to have Scott Boras bend them over for 11 figures just to look good. Wilbon: callin' it like he sees it, apparently through thick and foggy glasses.

  3. 11 figures? We talkin' double-digit billions here? That's more buttstuff than even Boras is capable of.

  4. Wilbon is wrong on the Strasburg issue, but stop hatin on my man.

  5. He only watches basketball now, and the NBA generally, not the Wizards specifically. He can only reference DC sports from back in the day, nothing current.

  6. Looks like Wilbon was right....


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