Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Worst Wizards Jerseys Ever

Welcome to the long-awaited 4th part in this painful series of worst jerseys for all of our beloved professional DC-area teams. The Redskin and Oriole lists were painful but maybe slightly therapeutic, while the Nats list was just pathetic.

With the Wizards season beyond the point of anger and bordering on disinterest, I think it is an appropriate time to reflect on the horrendous history of this franchise by ranking the worst Bullets/Wizards jerseys that a 'fan' can own today. Once again, here is the criteria for the list:
The jersey must be one that would make fellow fans either:
  1. Angry
  2. Disgusted
  3. Think the guy wearing the jersey is an idiot
Please note that any jerseys that are funny bad are not included, and with the pathetic history of the Bullets/Wizards, there are a lot of jerseys that are more humorous than anger inducing. Without further ado, our bottom 10 in reverse order (least terrible to most terrible):

10) Michael Ruffin #51 - In addition to being a bad NBA player who probably should not have been in the league, all he reminds me of is this play against the Raptors.

9) Ben Wallace #30 - The talent that has passed through the Wizards/Bullets in the past 20 years is startling and infuriating; here is the first example of several on this list. In his years with the Wiz, he was a fan favorite as an energy guy, and was a rotation player with the potential to be more because he was so athletic and had great defenseive metrics. So why did we give him up? To acquire Ike freakingAustin! Not only that, but Big Ben was not the centerpiece of that deal by any means, so it is hard to believe the Wiz couldn't have held onto him while still acquiring Austin. Frustrating in1999, and infuriating now. He would be higher, but he was such a likable player when he was here.

8) Rasheed Wallace #30 - Amazing, we drafted him #4 overall, gave him 1 year at the ripe old age of 21, and then, in one of Wes Unseld's first moves as GM, traded him for Rod Strickland and Harvey Grant. Wes, we'll get back to you, so let's move on.....

7) Jerry Stackhouse #42 - He was a big name when we acquired him, but was really just an inefficient high volume scorer. More importantly we continue the trend here of trading a great young player, Rip Hamilton, to obtain an older overrated player. Thanks MJ.

6) Ike Austin #8 - And now the waste of space who cost us Big Ben Wallace and was somehow supposed to solve all of our problems at center. I have no idea what Wes Unseld saw in a guy who averaged under 10 ppg and 5 rpg while shooting about 40% from the field as a center! He would have still made this list if Ben Wallace hadn't been involved in the trade, but that just puts him over the top. I bet he is ridiculously fat now.

5) Juwan Howard #5 - Is this the first guy to definitely hold the title of worst contract in the NBA? Sure, he gave us some nice years, but his ridiculous beyond ridiculous contract courtesy of Wes Unseld was an albatross. Imagine if that money had been spent on C-Webb? My liver is squirming.....

4) Mitch Richmond #2 - Now the worst of Unseld's moves, trading C-Webb for a 33 yr old shooter. Trading young for old? check. Big for small? check. Multi-talented for pure scorer? check. Tremendous future potential for minimal if any current gains? check.

3) Michael Jordan #23 - Maybe we shouldn't have been sucked-in, but he brought so much false hope and as we now know, is a complete asshole. If you haven't read Michael Leahy's When Nothing Else Matters: Michael Jordan's Last Comeback, you should. The book shows Jordan's true side that we all saw during his HOF induction speech.

The one instance where this jersey is acceptable

2) Kwame Brown #5 - Labradford Smith and Tom Gugliotta jerseys are funny, Kwame's is not. Every time I get a glimmer of hope we will get the top pick and draft a franchise-changer, I feel feverish eyes thanks to memories/stories of Kwame crying in the locker room.

1) Gilbert Arenas #0 - I hope you aren't surprised. Where to begin? He isn't an all-star anymore, and will never be, dropped the fun personality, and is now the proud owner of the worst contract in the league.

Dishonorable Mention:
-Peter John Ramos #34
-Samaki Walker #52
-Courtney Alexander #4 - He should have been awesome after scoring 17 ppg as a 23 yr old, but was not.
-Jarvis Hayes #24 - I always hated him. Just a shooter who we wasted a pick and lot of minutes on. He missed making the top-10 by thismuch.

Gil is #1, hands-down, but what does everyone else think? Trust me, once you dig into the ugly memories, you will come out better, or at least not as pissed off about the current season.

(Images courtesy of and


  1. Tim Legler, cause he's a sellout and a twat

  2. Popeye Jones - interchangeable with Michael Ruffin, in intolerable looks and playing style.

    Otis Thorpe - part of the C-Webb trade, although it's hard to knock a guy with an awesome name like Otis.

    Juan Dixon - love the guy, but we wasted a first round pick on him.

    Ricky Rubio - for the win?

  3. I'm not sure I'd put Gil's jersey number 1 just yet. If I saw a Gil, Kwame, and MJ all next to each other, the latter two are the ones that would make me cringe.

    Although I guess symbolically, at this point in time, it makes sense.

  4. Oooh, Rubio makes me absurdly angry. I think he doesn't count though, because he wasn't on our radar and we didn't come seriously close to drafting him; that he wasn't close to being a Wiz is a bigger problem. Which brings me to my next point, Dejuan Blair......

    Popeye - His appearance and name I think push him to the funny bad category

    Thorpe - Anyone who purchased this jersey is an idiot, so he should have been dishonorable mention

    Dixon - Now I'm a Gtown fan, but I thought he could do no wrong in DC? I still remember being at a Wiz game soon after UMD won the NCAA title and Dixon and Lonnie Baxter getting a long standing ovation. His jersey isn't thaaaat bad...

    At least for Kwame, it was a wasted pick that didn't turn out to be valuable because of a weak draft, Gil is handicapping and will continue to handicap this team way worse than Kwame.

  5. Kwame hurts much more than Gilbert. Well, except of course the current contract. Kwame Brown may be the worst #1 pick of all time. Gasol did go 3rd. The rest of the draft, excluding the Spurs diamonds in the rough were terrible. So, I see your point. But, still. Kwame? Arenas lead us to the playoffs, multiple times and lead our best teams of decades. Unfortunately, he also may have ravaged our next decade.

  6. Kwame also netted us Caron Butler, so you take the good with the bad.

  7. Gilbert, as a Wizard, has been the most productive player by far. Prior to his injuries it was because of him that the Wizards got the attention they did. No one else can come close to boasting that....not Webb, not Howard and sure as hell not Mitchy boy Rich.

    Also, the large contract may not be as huge of an issue. These gun charges may in fact turn out to be very very beneficial to the Wiz. After signing him to an overly lucrative deal, I think all Wiz fans came to grips that he isnt the Gil of old and has lost that quick step and vertical explosion. Our ability to void his contract, as I presume we will, is exactly what this team needs to build.

    With this said Gil hasnt hurt the Wizards in the Big picture and has done far more good. Giving him the #1 slot is ridiculous and narrow minded. Do your research.

    #1 Easily Kwame Brown with Otis Thrope second

    yea Otis Thorpe

    fuck Otis Thorpe and his mid range bullshit

  8. cant forget rod strickland.

  9. @o-SACK-bo

    "fuck Otis Thorpe and his mid range bullshit"

    Hilarious, and agreed.

    "Our ability to void his contract, as I presume we will, is exactly what this team needs to build."

    Unfortunately, I do not see this as a possibility. From what I'm hearing the Wizards are going to be hard pressed to find a way to void his contract. I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.