Why Vick on the Eagles Worries Me...And Should Worry You Too

Out with one felon, in with another! That's how we roll in the NFC East, where football always comes first. Mike Vick joined the Philadelphia Eagles Thursday on a two year deal, and it ain't just for the good publicity. Their backup and theoretical QB of the future, Kevin Kolb, injured his knee so that Detmer guy they've had on and off for like 12 years Vick suddenly became a cheap and appealing contingency option for the Iggs.

This move makes me nervous. While they are busy grooming Kolb for the near future, what's the harm in bringing along someone else to push him, thinks they? A someone else who happens to have a cannon arm and can run a 4.2 40-yard dash?

And what better tutor for Vick to have than McNabb? He overcame his early-career reliance on scrambling, which is exactly what Vick must learn to do to evolve. McNabb (per Vick a "close friend") can also help him deal with the flak to come from PETA and Philadelphia's moronic fan base. Andy Reid, too, is experienced in handling troubled youths.

What's most worrisome perhaps is that Vick is in a no pressure situation. Any yard he gains from now on is a yard no one expected. If he actually learns his position (he already has a year in the WCO under his belt) and puts his athleticism to better use, he could be a dangerous QB; and that would be a nightmare worse than the recurring one I have where Vinny and Danny bump and grind to Lady Gaga's "Poker Face."

I used to look forward to the day the Eagles dropped McNabb, but I don't anymore. It's a crying shame. Whatever, Orakpo will break them all.

[Image via give me texas wisdom]

Shocking, Stunning, Unpredictable Development: Vick-to-'Skins is Rumour Du Jour

The day Mike Vick was connected to dog-fighting was the day he became a Redskin's acquisition target. Let's face it: a tantalizing talent and merchandise mover of Vick's caliber was born to play for Dan Snyder's fantasy football playteam, and few other owners out there are as star horny as DannyBoy, who probably has "there's no such thing as bad publicity" tattooed across his forehead, right underneath his "Vinny's Lips Go Here" tattoo.

Everyone and their mother with internet access and a twitter account is providing beef for the "VICK WILL BE A REDSKIN!! AGAGGAHHHH!" rumor fodder today. Tanner Cooley saw Vick in Ashburn. Mike Fiorio of Pro Football Talk is hearing that a deal is close, sort of. 106.7 The Fan's Redskins' beat reporter Chris Russell saw Vick's rep in Ashburn and is pretty confident it's happening.

Back in May, we provided six reasons why Vick to the 'Skins would be a good idea. If he is bought on the cheap and for a one year deal, we thought it'd be worth giving him a look at wide receiver. But the idea here seems to be to phase him in at quarterback and see if he's ready to compete for the full-time gig starting next season, assuming Campbell isn't the guy. And assuming Campbell isn't the guy has been the front office's M.O. from Day 1 this offseason, so it's easy to see right through Snyderrato's pea-brained plans here.

And if this is in fact the case, to keep him at QB, we cannot endorse this move. He's too far removed from his years as an overrated QB for there to be hope he can develop into a championship one. To take this risk at the expense of your current starter and his budding relationship with your head coach is nothing short of season sabatoge. That's like slowly phasing Ari out of "Entourage" and replacing him with Al Pacino. Pacino's day is done, and you're gonna kill the chemistry between the show's two most compelling characters at this point (Ari and Lloyd). Stupid. If you want to give Pacino a small recurring role though, say, at slot receiver, until he finds his comfort zone and smaller contributing role, that's another story.

[Image via Bleacher Fan]

As if Snyder Needs Convincing: The Case for Vick on the 'Skins

Listen, I'm no Redskins apologist. I hate Dan Snyder with all but two fibers in my being (the two that realize that he's better than this guy). I hope Vinny Cerrato chokes on a danish, or better yet, is fired. FedEx is Hell on Earth. Also, I love puppies, and the worst harm I'd ever inflict on one would be to boot a really tiny loud one off a bridge.

But the Redskins had better dig their star-horny claws into Michael Vick and never let go. And not just because the jersey sales will correlate to an illogical 45% rise in FedEx concession prices. It will work for the Redskins on the field and if you remember, that's the fucking point. Several reasons:

1.) The Redskins' Offense needs an ATHLETE. 'Skins fans lament the lack of a #1 receiver and it's hard to disagree. And some think JC17 isn't the answer behind center. But what's really lacking is a guy who can simply make tacklers miss. Vick's presence alone means the other team has to account for him, game plan for him, think about him before the game. If you've made D-Coordinators think that much harder, you've improved your offense that much...harder. What position exactly? We'll get to that....

2.) We've yet to see the Zorn Star work magic with a Shiny New Wand. In 2008, Zorn adjusted his westcoast pass-happy offense to suit his personnel, which is the mark of an intelligent coach. The result was a bland running based game, due to bland running based personnel. Enter insane athlete. Now, Zorn has studied the Wildcat diligently this offseason and admitted the 'Skins don't have the personnel to make it happen. Yet. Why? "Cleveland, with [Josh] Cribbs....probably did the best, but he's got a real acceleration." So we need someone with real acceleration, preferably with QB experience? Hmmm....

I'm not saying Vick should become the new 'Skins QB. Far from it; I think his unique skills are best utilized in various roles at various times. Sometimes that might mean some QB snaps. Mostly though, he needs plays designed for him specifically in some quasi-hybrid tailback role, a la 1920s football. There has never been an athlete like Vick in the NFL - why not make up a position that's never existed?

3.) Vick will be cheap. I know I know, the Redskins are salary cap wizards and yes, there might not be a cap after this year...but the 'Skins are still paying Mark Carrier like $4.3 million per and contract terms will be critical. Vick's market value is going to be around Bear Sterns' right about now - which for those of you who don't read the Wall Avenue Journal means Vick will be getting dick for salary, and for one or two years tops. Low risk (cap room wise)/high reward is the idea here.

4.) Vick will be motivated. There are just plain ruthless murderous sociopaths, and there are ruthless murderous sociopaths with 10-figure debt and the whole world watching their every move. True: you have to be collossally stupid to squander what Vick had circa 2006, and I wouldn't be surprised if he, Portis, Haynesworth and Smoot were caught financing an underground squirrel-fighting ring or something. But he has to have learned from this. Maybe not in that moral, soul-saving way...but in a superficial my-job-and-life-is-on-the-line way, which is good enough for me. Maybe he'll still have the urge to strangle a labradoodle at first sight - but I get the feeling he'll resist this time. He's in survival mode at this point.

5.) Despite pleas from fans, the 'Skins are determined to win now and delay a rebuild. To most logical fans, 14 years of consistent mediocrity with an aging roster is a sure sign that the talent has been maxed out. To Vinny Cerrato and Dan Snyder, it's a never-ending indication that the 'Skins are one player away from winning it all. I'm not saying Vick is that guy. I'm saying given the right circumstances, a healthy year on the offensive line, and basic progress from JC17, a well-utilized Vick could help put up enough points to make the offense respectable again. The 'Skins D and running game remain their strong points, and if healthy could do some postseason damage. It's getting there that's the issue. So as long as we're stuck with a front office and owner playing this game, Vick is worth a look.

6.) The offense needs hope. If there was one thing that defined the Redskins offense in the second half of 2008 - other than three-and-outs - it was the look and feeling of hopelessness. Early in the year the group was unstoppable, and they had the swag. As passes starting slipping through hands, Jansen opened the Sack Gates, and Portis' injuries caught up to him finally, they lost it. And what have they done since the disastrous 2008 finale? Precisely dick. Unless you believe in UFOs, you realize that Devin Thomas is a joke and Malcolm Kelly's knees are made of peanut brittle and there's no such thing as an NFL offense with two tight end weapons. The cavalry isn't coming from those three.

But inject Vick into a locker room with stable vets and leaders and it's an instant spark. Suddenly you have a guy turning heads in practice, adding that 'wow' factor, that extra ingredient that Randel El was supposed to provide but can't, since he is 5' 2" in real life and was never that good. Sometimes that's all it takes for a football team to make it over the hump.

Now Vinny, get on the phone with the Falcons and send next year's 1st, 3rd, and 5th into oblivion and make this happen. Even if Gooddell doesn't reinstate, what do we have to lose? They're just draft picks.