Friday Furburgers: If You Have the Means, I Recommend a Trip to the Virgin Islands

Red Rover and Mrs. Red Rover took a trip to the US Virgin Islands over the past week, and let me tell you, it is an...interesting place. Get this: you're allowed to drink alcohol while you drive. When our host picked us up at the ferry docks, he had a whiskey on the rocks in the cupholder, not a big. I didn't partake, mostly because I was deathly afraid of making a mistake while driving on the left side of the road. It's complicated enough at a five-way intersection while stone sober and on 12 hours of deep island sleep. Especially with crazy locals honking and speeding through stop signs up 45 degree inclines.

You can drive through a collection of dilapidated shanties, or what is known there as "town," and with your window open you'll most assuredly be offered "green," though I doubt it's the kind dumbass whitey tourists like myself are looking for, not that I'd be looking for something like that dear potential future employers.

The most noticeable difference, obviously, is the pace. It's sloooow. Waiters don't come to your table. They waddle. One restaurant we planned to go to for dinner had closed at like 2:37 PM. The owner's explanation the next day: "we didn't feel like working." And most tellingly, the wild roosters that roam the island don't even cock-a-doodle-doo until like 10 AM at the earliest. Basically, it's my kind of place.

Without further ado, and with no logical segue necessary, I present your Friday Furburgers. Links from the week, for the weekend:

Over the last 10 years, it's the Eagles who can claim the most consistent NFC East success. Which is the inverse of how our prestige rankings look over the whole Super Bowl era. Keep in mind, the Eagles Super Bowl trophy case is emptier than Paris Hilton's head.
ESPN's Decade Power Rankings

Cooley and Portis are the two funniest (or is it "most funny"?) NFL players in the last decade. And no love for Meast on the most feared category?
ESPN All-Decade

Business ideas that cannot fail, part 438: Jahidi White and Chris Whitney are thinking of starting an armored truck business in England. I'll take "WTF" for $2000, Alex.
DC Sports Bog's Twitter Page

McPhee took Philly to the cleaners on this '08 draft day deal. Keep this in mind going into the weekend.
The Hockey News: Looking Back at the '08 Draft Trades

Brian Orakpo is prettier than Mark Sanchez anyways.
The Redskins Blog

Local boy Oguchi Onyewu (Sherwood High School) dominates Spain's strikers in historic US upset over #1 ranked Spain on Thursday, earning a 9 rating on the game...
Soccer Insider

...and is suing a Belgian opponent for use of a racial slur. Shockingly, this is apparently rampant in Europe. THEY TOOK ERRR JAWWWBS!
ESPN Soccernet

The Wizards passed on the best rebounder in the last decade of college basketball, DeJuan Blair, in exchange for $2.5 million, which they will put towards some crappy $5 million per year veteran like Brian Skinner to fill the rebounding void instead. Genius!
HoopsAnalyst

Find out what your name would be if you were a Brazilian soccer player. Mine would be "Reincha." See if you can figure out my real name now, clever readers. First one to get it right gets their comment deleted!
BrazilName

Rambo keeps getting violenter and violenter with each passing sequel. And also, crappier and crappier.
Nextround.net