Friday Furburgers: The Caps Power Outage

Look, I'm all for the "a win is a win" talk.

But after the Caps barely hung on in a 5-4 victory over Atlanta Thursday night, a game eerily similar to many others in which they let an inferior team gain ground on them in a sloppy third period, it's become apparent that their power play is just not right.

This is a team that finished 2nd in power play efficiency last season and lost none of its key parts, yet now boasts the 19th most effective unit in the league at a mere 16.0% after Thursday's 0-7 debacle.

The sample size is small and I am confident they'll right the ship in due time. Having four of the game's most skilled offensive players - Ovechkin, Backstrom, Semin, Green - tends to have its benifits.

But what if these players aren't being used in the proper capacity?

I've maintained for a while now that Ovechkin's seemingly unlimited offensive potential is maximized when he is situated on the left hash marks on the power play, as opposed to the point where he plays now. Having him fire in a dozen slap shots a game from the blue line isn't necessarily ineffective, although usually half of those shots are either blocked or deflected away from the net. But Ovechkin with a clear path to the net is about as dangerous as Gary Glitter at a YMCA youth camp. Furthermore, placing him closer to the net will force the defense to collapse on him, paying huge dividends for whoever replaces him on the point and thus boosting the overall effectiveness of the power play.

I'm really not sure why I haven't been hired as at least an assistant coach at this point in my career, but whatever. It's all politics I guess.

Anyway, without further ado and no logical segue, I present your Friday Furburgers - links from the week, for the weekend:

Nice article on Nicklas Backstrom's rise to stardom. Lock this guy up, pretty please.
Washington Post

Great statistical recap of the 2008-2009 NHL season. This is required viewing for any true hockey fan. Spoiler alert: Alex Semin deserved to join Ovechkin and Green on the NHL First All-Star Team.
Hockey Analytics

Just as he was last year, Alex Ovechkin is the most clutch player in the NHL.
The Hockey News

Since making fun of the Redskins will never get old, it's important to note that they do, in fact, still somewhat resemble a professional football team. Classic.
The Onion

Our pals at Hogs Haven interview an Eagles fan in preparation for Monday's inevitable annihilation at Fedex Field.
Hogs Haven

Wilbon endorses Sherman Lewis as a legitimate head coaching candidate. The DCLS does not endorse Wilbon.
Washington Post

This Skins fan, writing for a financial blog, absolutely tears apart Dan Snyder from a corporate management perspective.
The Motley Fool

Matt Mosley, former Cowboys beat writer and current NFC blogger for ESPN, is an idiot. And the Pope poops in the woods. Duh.
Mr. Irrelevant

Speaking of Mosley, I pulled up this little nugget from my days as an avid Drew Bledsoe reader. God I loved that blog.
Tony Homo

The so-called ESPN panel of "experts" (yes, I still hate you, John Hollinger) previews the Wizards.
ESPN

Friday Furburgers: Why Is Gibbs Getting a Free Pass?

There are three things most Redskins fans, a contentious bunch, can agree upon: 1) Vinny Cerrato is a dunce; 2) Dan Snyder is, um, misguided, and 3) Joe Gibbs is God.

Most of the hysteria this week has focused itself on the team-building abilities of the former two (henceforth, "Snyderrato" or "It"), which closely resembles the levee-building abilities of the US Army Corps of Engineers, New Orleans. Snyderrato's star-centric, veteran-reliant philosophy started on Day One of Its tenure with the signings of washed up Bruce Smith, Deion Sanders et al. Then, It brings God back into the fold in '04 and for a moment we thought things would be different forever and ever again. Didn't we?

We are disappointed today to realize they aren't. All this kvetching about old and fragile players, lack of depth, and inability to build through the draft can be traced back to Joe Gibbs himself. The Redskins team that takes the field on Sundays still has Gibbs' fingerprints all over it, both in terms of the guys wearing the B&G jerseys and the talent that could be but isn't. He enabled Snyderrato's free-spending mentality by himself having a bias towards building a team with veteran players.

Let's look at the objective facts. Gibbs traded away a 2nd rounder (Portis trade), a 3rd rounder (Mark Brunell), a 3rd rounder and a 4th rounder (B. Lloyd) and a 4th rounder (TJ Duckett) and oversaw the big $$ handouts to each of these guys (minus Duckett). If these picks had been used on young O-linemen for Bugel to mold over the past few years, would we be looking down the barrell of a 12-gauge right now? Gregg Williams was largely responsible for miscasting key young defensive players as replaceable ones (Ryan Clark, Antonio Pierce), but these moves were ultimately Gibbs' call too and reflect a persistent mentality that "proven" is worth vastly more than unproven. Seems logical, right?

In theory yes, in reality no, and the proof is in the pudding. Gibbs' molding of the modern Redskins is built on the philosophy that 1) character trumps talent, 2) experience trumps youth, 3) getting "your guy" trumps the cost concerns, and 4) loyalty to veterans trumps the uncertainty of draft picks. As a result the Redskins have a starting lineup filled with great character guys who are old and overpaid, and cheap retreads or late-round hopefuls backing them up.

And the two-headed monster in charge doesn't seem to mind a bit. Snyderrato believed in this veteran-first mindset before, for different reasons perhaps, and now after watching Gibbs do in effect the same, It is empowered to continue down this path. Hard to tell, though, if keeping the old and crippled O-line together is a function of Gibbsian loyalty or a symptom of the general ineptitude perpetuated by Snyderrato's more recent decisions. I have my hunches.

I'm not saying this witch hunt should head down NASCAR-way and we pitchfork us some fresh Gibbs meat. His tenure had its successes: it restored organizational credibility, recharged Redskins pride and we won a playoff game! And he's still better than anything that has ever touched the Eagles organization (kiss the rings).

But let's not lose sight of Gibbs 2.0's ultimate failure: the inability to un-Snyderrato Snyderrato. The NFL is, frankly, a different beast than it was in the days Gibbs baked the victory cakes. Today, we're tasting the bitter result of a Betty Crocker formula mixed with too much sugar and icing and not enough of that moist fluffy dough inside. And the bakers still think they're doing it right.

Marinate on that a little bit this weekend while you're browsing the interwebz. Without further ado, and with no logical Segway necessary, your Friday Furburgers: links from the week, for the weekend.

Redskins Mass Hysteria.
East Coast Bias

Redskins Mass Hysteria: Redskins Alumns edition.
Lovey Land

Peter King thinks the Lions will snap their 19-game losing streak against the 'Skins Sunday. I think Peter King will snap his child's finger off for a snack some day. See what I did there?
FanNation | The Peter King Challenge

The Redskins aren't the only mess under Dan Snyder's charge. Further proof that he's pretty much the exact opposite of Midas.
The Curly R

Translating Jim Zorn's 4th down calls into Geek. Allow me to retranslate: he made the right calls decisions.
Advanced NFL Stats

Moving along now to the Redskins' smarter, cooler, awesomer brother: The Caps. Per Coach Bruce Boudreau, even the youngsters have "championship blood." I got chills...we'll have more on this soon.
Capitals Insider

Scott Burnside provides a pretty smart season preview, minus the "a Cup visit isn't yet in the cards" business.
ESPN

Caps minor league enforcer Brandon Sugden squares off with former Cap and reigning NHL heavyweight Donald Brashear twice in preseason action Thursday. Rangers 3, Caps 2.
Japers' Rink

Lil' guy (5' 9", 160 lbs) and uber-skilled prospect, C Matthieu Perrault, is proving he belongs...if not now then very soon. And he's pretty psyched about it, duh.
On Frozen Blog

Wizards using stats now.
Bullets Forever

Nats lose 100 for second straight year. I did not see this coming.
SB Nation

Ridiculous '80s dating video montage, featuring Vinny Cerrato ("I operate a damsel in distress hotline") around the 2:05 mark.
Daily Motion

Friday Furburgers: The Apocalypse is Upon Us

Dogs and cats living together! Hamburgers eating people! $8 gallons of milk! Vinny Cerrato making a smart personnel move! That's right, today is the end of days.

Because yesterday the four horsemen rode through town and announced that Vinny Cerrato had snagged another young stud defensive end in the supplemental draft, Jeremy Jarmon. It cost a 3rd round pick in the '10 draft, when Jarmon likely would have gone in the 2nd if not higher. In other words, Vinny got what is known as "good value" in a transaction, instead of creamed.

A few years back, the 'Skins missed the opportunity to solve their impending RT disaster when they passed on OT Jared Gaither in the supplemental (5th round). There were character issues with Gaither, who'd failed out of school. Fine. But now he's a starter for the Ravens, and the 'Skins are lining up scrubs to play RT. This year, Jeremy Jarmon was made available when he lost his NCAA eligibility after testing positive for a banned over-the-counter weight loss supplement. When you have a chance to snag a talented young player on the cheap, you do it.

There are those critical of the move because "a third round pick for anyone in the supplemental draft is a little high." And a pessimist might look at recent DE moves (Jason Taylor, Erasmus James) and expect failure. After all, the Redskins haven't had much success developing DEs. Ever. Kenard Lang is probably the best in-house developed DE of the last 15 years.

But Jarmon has a motor, the work ethic, and certainly the pedigree to make it. Most importantly, perhaps, his legs are younger than 35 years old. At 6-3, 278 pounds, the former All-SEC end is worth a look at least. Hey, better than keeping the pick next year and having Vinny be tempted by a punter or another pass-catching tight end.

***

Without further ado, and after a two week hiatus, your Friday Furburgers. Links from the past week (or two), for the weekend:

Obligatory video of newest draft pick sacking a QB. He doesn't beat his guy clean, but he doesn't give up on the play either.
YouTube

Jarmon's statline last season: 38 tackes, 9 tackles for a loss, 4.5 sacks, 4 hurries, 2 forced fumbles, 6 passes broken up (12 games).
University of Kentucky

Jarmon runs the 40 in the 4.7-4.8 range and has a 31" vertical.
Rotoworld

Matt Mosley posts a blog entry while drunk, declaring Devin Thomas the 'Skins' '09 breakout player. A coach has been "whispering" to him about this, apparently. I've been trying to get my girlfriend to whisper sweet nothings in my ear about Redskins wideouts for years.
ESPN.com NFC East Blog

Adam Jones hit the game-winning RBI during the All-Star game. Probably because he can hit all pitch types with equal awesome (check bottom right sidebar).
BBTN Clubhouse July 9th

Maryland basketball fans are the ACC's "most irritating (and occasionally tasteless)." Better than "bandwagonning" or "nonexistent", which are the usual descriptors used for local fans. Progress people.
Pat Forde

Terps football: near unanimously expected to finish dead last in the ACC Atlantic.
Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Alex Ovechkin is the 3rd most exciting hockey player ever, and you and I are of the "it's-free-it's-me YouTube generation." I think I like that.
Michael Farber

There's been so much phenomenal blog coverage of the Caps' Summer Development camp scattered around the interwebz. Japers put all the Tweets into one widget feed (there's a sentence I couldn't have said a year ago), and from there you can find it all.
Japers Rink

As predicted, D John Carlson ('08 1st round pick) has been dominating the camp (video).
Capitals Insider

To catch you up: the Caps have now re-signed all the RFAs they were expected to (except for Jurcina whose contract will be decided in arbitration at the end of July): C Boyd Gordon, RW Eric Fehr, D Jeff Schultz, D Shaone Morissonn. They have $1.5 million in cap space and 8 NHL defensemen including Jurcina under contract for this season. Someone's gonna go.
Japers' Unofficial Salary Cap Info Tracker

Caps clear out some organizational depth, sending D prospect Keith Seabrook to the Calgary Flames for "future considerations."
NHL.com

I just hope for Gilbert's sake that Obama doesn't butt-sweat like I do.
DC Sports Bog

Random facts, which is a great way to kill time and break up a boring conversation. Things like "American car horns beep in the tone of F." Or "The average person spends 2 years on the phone in their lifetime." Or "Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both duelers are blood donors." Consider this my official duel challenge, Cerrato.
Carnegie Mellon - Random Facts

[Image via SEC Live News]

Friday Furburgers: If You Have the Means, I Recommend a Trip to the Virgin Islands

Red Rover and Mrs. Red Rover took a trip to the US Virgin Islands over the past week, and let me tell you, it is an...interesting place. Get this: you're allowed to drink alcohol while you drive. When our host picked us up at the ferry docks, he had a whiskey on the rocks in the cupholder, not a big. I didn't partake, mostly because I was deathly afraid of making a mistake while driving on the left side of the road. It's complicated enough at a five-way intersection while stone sober and on 12 hours of deep island sleep. Especially with crazy locals honking and speeding through stop signs up 45 degree inclines.

You can drive through a collection of dilapidated shanties, or what is known there as "town," and with your window open you'll most assuredly be offered "green," though I doubt it's the kind dumbass whitey tourists like myself are looking for, not that I'd be looking for something like that dear potential future employers.

The most noticeable difference, obviously, is the pace. It's sloooow. Waiters don't come to your table. They waddle. One restaurant we planned to go to for dinner had closed at like 2:37 PM. The owner's explanation the next day: "we didn't feel like working." And most tellingly, the wild roosters that roam the island don't even cock-a-doodle-doo until like 10 AM at the earliest. Basically, it's my kind of place.

Without further ado, and with no logical segue necessary, I present your Friday Furburgers. Links from the week, for the weekend:

Over the last 10 years, it's the Eagles who can claim the most consistent NFC East success. Which is the inverse of how our prestige rankings look over the whole Super Bowl era. Keep in mind, the Eagles Super Bowl trophy case is emptier than Paris Hilton's head.
ESPN's Decade Power Rankings

Cooley and Portis are the two funniest (or is it "most funny"?) NFL players in the last decade. And no love for Meast on the most feared category?
ESPN All-Decade

Business ideas that cannot fail, part 438: Jahidi White and Chris Whitney are thinking of starting an armored truck business in England. I'll take "WTF" for $2000, Alex.
DC Sports Bog's Twitter Page

McPhee took Philly to the cleaners on this '08 draft day deal. Keep this in mind going into the weekend.
The Hockey News: Looking Back at the '08 Draft Trades

Brian Orakpo is prettier than Mark Sanchez anyways.
The Redskins Blog

Local boy Oguchi Onyewu (Sherwood High School) dominates Spain's strikers in historic US upset over #1 ranked Spain on Thursday, earning a 9 rating on the game...
Soccer Insider

...and is suing a Belgian opponent for use of a racial slur. Shockingly, this is apparently rampant in Europe. THEY TOOK ERRR JAWWWBS!
ESPN Soccernet

The Wizards passed on the best rebounder in the last decade of college basketball, DeJuan Blair, in exchange for $2.5 million, which they will put towards some crappy $5 million per year veteran like Brian Skinner to fill the rebounding void instead. Genius!
HoopsAnalyst

Find out what your name would be if you were a Brazilian soccer player. Mine would be "Reincha." See if you can figure out my real name now, clever readers. First one to get it right gets their comment deleted!
BrazilName

Rambo keeps getting violenter and violenter with each passing sequel. And also, crappier and crappier.
Nextround.net

Friday Furburgers!

What a boring week. Nats demonstrate consistency throughout all levels of organization, fail in attempt to can manager who has done nothing but lead team to...failure. Skinnies cut ties with Thrash, reaction greeted with vehement head shrugs at Philbin's Family Fitness & Athletic Training Center. The Obnoxious Caracasana returns to CP, O's do so-so, Ovie remains the best, and if we draft Ricky 'Menduo' Rubio as speculated we will earn the title as 'City with the Most Sideshows' (see Areanas, G., Portis, C., Dukes, E., Ovechkin, A., Sideshow, B.).

Two Capitals Prospects in The Hockey News Top 10

My Favorite Comic Destroying My Least Favorite Person, On His Own Show

Andy Katz Pre-season College Bball Rankings: MD #17, GTOWN #18

Heart Warming Article About Skins DT Antonio Dixon

Top 10 Washington, D.C. Based Fugitives

D. Baez and N. Johnson Might Be Gone At Trading Deadline

[Image via Real Clear Sports]

Friday Furburgers: Nats Avoid Sweep

Hoo-ray.

It's not that uncommon for a Nationals' game to be decided by a late-inning error. It is, however, a rare occasion when the worst fielding team in the majors - that would be the Nationals, in case you've been hiding under a rock - is not the culprit.

So let's briefly rejoice in victory before the inevitable AL-East 12-game losing streak that awaits.

I'd bet two of my nuts, a bet you'd love to win, that Manny Acta is unemployed by June 26, when the Nats head to Baltimore for an intense three game set between the two worst teams in the league. Mark it down.

And now I present your Friday Furburgers - links from the week, for the weekend:

Michael Nylander can't play in Russia without Caps' approval. I literally have no idea how to respond to that.
Puck Daddy

Troy Patton and Jake Arrietta are headed to Norfolk. As Dave Trembley says, "the cavalry is coming."
Camden Chat

I don't do Twitter, I don't understand Twitter, and I don't get why Twitter is such a big deal. But for those who do, here is an excellent list of DC sports figures' twitter pages.
Mr. Irrelevant

Chris Cooley interviews the Redskins' three 2nd-round picks from the 2008 draft. What to take from the video? Devin Thomas is the best at Madden, Fred Davis oversleeping last year was a big "situation" that set him back, Malcom Kelly spent this summer rehabbing and "staring at the wall", and neither of the three are any good at football. Yet.
The Cooley Zone

Laron Landry makes an appearance at OTAs and denies any rumors that he wants out of DC. I believe him because it's easier than not.
Redskins Insider

Two Redskins in Matt Mosley's top 10 NFC East building blocks. I'll give you a hint: only one of them plays every down on the defensive line!
ESPN

Ovechkin makes the cover of NHL 2k10. He was also your EA Sports NHL '07 coverboy. He's kind of a big deal.
Capitals Kremlin

"Breaking the seal": not a myth! Science says it's true!
Off the Contrary Blog

Friday Furburgers: My "Interaction" With Stan Kasten

So I'm at the Nat's game.

Fourth inning.

It's raining, but no worry. Suites have their benefits.

I grab another beer and walk toward the deck with my buddy.

I see Stan Kasten as I walk by.

My friend is introduced, and Kasten shakes his hand. "Nice to meet you," he says.

Then I stick my hand out and introduce myself.

What happens next? Here are the choices:

a) Kasten shakes my hand.

b) Kasten undoes his belt, drops his pants, squats, and takes a dump on my brand new kicks.

c) I say "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kasten," and stand there with my hand out for about 10 seconds as he looks away and refuses to acknowledge my existence, far too busy pondering whether he should put relish or sauerkraut, or, screw it, both, on his hot dog next inning, or how he can somehow get more fans in the stands by trading Ryan Zimmerman and Aaron Crow for the rights to this year's #1 pick, even though the Nat's already have the #1 pick and were unable to sign Crow after the draft last year.

Well, the answer is some combination of b and c, if you replace the word "kicks" in b to "ego" or "chest", and the word "Kasten" in c to "Dickhead". Kidding. He actually seemed like a nice guy, and I'm sure it was an honest mistake.

But hot damn, that was embarrassing. For me.

You cut me deep, Stan.

Anyway, without further ado I present your Friday Furburgers:

Caps '08-'09 rookie evaluations.
Hockey's Future

Flirting with other quarterbacks a dumb move by Danny and Vinny. Gee, ya think?
Sporting News

NHL Organizational Rankings has caps at 6. Sounds about right.
Hockey's Future

Redskins the 24th best (9th worst) all-around franchise in the NFL. Ugh.
Fox Sports

Clinton Portis the 6th best RB, according to Madden rankings. Chris Cooley the 4th best TE.
ESPN

Speaking of Madden rankings, DeAngelo Hall is upset.
Redskins Blog

Speaking of DeAngelo Hall, DeAngelo Hall is still upset.
Redskins Blog

Charges dropped against Jeremy Bridges. There were charges against Jeremy Bridges?
ESPN

Nationals Park given an A- by ballpark traveler. Whoopeeeee!
Thirty Ballparks

Great site for t-shirts. I can't decide between Gordon Bombay's Hawks retro and Jesse Hall's classic Ducks jersey. All input welcome.
My Party Shirt

Friday Furburgers: Shit Talking Round-Up

'Casual Friday' shouldn't require DCLS followers to engage in soul-crushing cordiality at the office. Unfortunately, the cruel reality to daily life in a civilized metropolis, compared with say, Philly, is round-the-clock workplace etiquette expectations. At no time are such pleasantries less desired than on Fridays, knowing weekend recreation involves the combination of females, sports, drinking, and friends. Whereas an exchange such as this might be unremarkable in a Philadelphia (law firm, restaurant, elementary school):

Philly Resident #1: Hey cocksucker, I need this (legal brief, appetizer, finger painting) by yesterday.
Philly Resident #2: Thanks boss, don't think just because you're the (partner, owner, principal) I won't fucking strangle you and think nothing of it, even though I am a mere (secretary, bus-boy, first grader).

...I have heard a version of this forced exchange repeated ad naseam at my office in the District:

DC Resident #1: Yeah Jim, Saturday I can't wait to watch my seven-year-old play girls soccer all day in the sun!
DC Resident #2: Boy that sounds fantastic, here's to hoping traffic from 495 to the Bay Bridge to the Shore won't be too heavy when I get on the roads at 4:30 today!

In the interests of DCLS followers everywhere, all four of you, I present the first edition of Friday Furburgers: Shit Talking Round-Up, where we can collectively manifest our frustration knowing the Eagles have never won, nor will ever win, a Super Bowl Championship (and related braggadocio).

Top 10 Dallas Cowboys Arrests of All Time
DC Ranks Third on Best Cities List
Donovan McNabb Still QB, Eagles Fans Confident In Team's Offseason 'Upgrades'
Oil Firm Owned By Shawne Merriman (UMD) Sues Laettner (Dook) and Davis (Dook)
DC To Host Next Real-World
DC Named America's Fittest City, Philly #27, Dallas #35

[title image via IMDB]