Friday, May 29, 2009

Friday Furburgers: Shit Talking Round-Up

'Casual Friday' shouldn't require DCLS followers to engage in soul-crushing cordiality at the office. Unfortunately, the cruel reality to daily life in a civilized metropolis, compared with say, Philly, is round-the-clock workplace etiquette expectations. At no time are such pleasantries less desired than on Fridays, knowing weekend recreation involves the combination of females, sports, drinking, and friends. Whereas an exchange such as this might be unremarkable in a Philadelphia (law firm, restaurant, elementary school):

Philly Resident #1: Hey cocksucker, I need this (legal brief, appetizer, finger painting) by yesterday.
Philly Resident #2: Thanks boss, don't think just because you're the (partner, owner, principal) I won't fucking strangle you and think nothing of it, even though I am a mere (secretary, bus-boy, first grader).
...I have heard a version of this forced exchange repeated ad naseam at my office in the District:

DC Resident #1: Yeah Jim, Saturday I can't wait to watch my seven-year-old play girls soccer all day in the sun!
DC Resident #2: Boy that sounds fantastic, here's to hoping traffic from 495 to the Bay Bridge to the Shore won't be too heavy when I get on the roads at 4:30 today!
In the interests of DCLS followers everywhere, all four of you, I present the first edition of Friday Furburgers: Shit Talking Round-Up, where we can collectively manifest our frustration knowing the Eagles have never won, nor will ever win, a Super Bowl Championship (and related braggadocio).

Top 10 Dallas Cowboys Arrests of All Time
DC Ranks Third on Best Cities List
Donovan McNabb Still QB, Eagles Fans Confident In Team's Offseason 'Upgrades'
Oil Firm Owned By Shawne Merriman (UMD) Sues Laettner (Dook) and Davis (Dook)
DC To Host Next Real-World
DC Named America's Fittest City, Philly #27, Dallas #35

[title image via IMDB]

1 comment:

  1. DC Resident #3: It's probably gonna rain all day tomorrow. Because I washed my car this morning!


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