WhatwhatWHAAAA!?!?! Florida Meathead Links Caps, Nats to 'Roids

Late last night, Tampa police busted above d-bag steroids distributor/user named Richard Thomas and his complicit wife, Sandra, seizing nearly a quarter-million worth of juice. While the Thomases were getting their faces kicked in by some bad-ass SWAT team dudes, Richard managed to blurt out something about selling 'roids to the Capitals and Nationals, clearly the two biggest threats to his beloved Tampa Bay Lightning and Rays. You bitter sonofabitch. If the Nats are on 'roids, they're obviously doing it wrong. And if the Caps are on 'roids, how do you explain the twig that is Sasha Semin?

I don't really know what to make of this yet. Thomas also reportedly said during the arrest: "You name the sport, and I've sold steroids to athletes who play it." Some cop blurted out "curling," and then another blurted out "darts," and then the most bad-ass cop in the bunch pistol-whipped the little steroids guy unconscious before he could verify. So sadly, we'll have to wait to learn whether these two studly dart champs are guilty. Though based on their build, I'm going with definitely. Expect 24/7 ESPN coverage on this.