O's: A Growing Threat in AL East

A few days ago, Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports wrote a great piece on the emerging Baltimore Orioles, with mentions of the Balticore, The Cavalry, and of course, DCLS favorite Baseball Jesus.

Here's an excerpt below, but be sure to check out the the entire article. Promising stuff.

The praise, almost universal, always comes with a disclaimer. Scouts love the Baltimore Orioles. They want to peg them as baseball’s great darkhorse of 2010, the latest team that can turn homegrown talent into long-term success. Only the scouts won’t go so far, not without a seven-word postscript.

If only they weren’t in that division.

Such is life in the American League East, baseball’s iron maiden, where even the most well-run upstart finds itself trapped underneath the enormity of the New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox. The Orioles have spent a dozen miserable seasons thrashing about, the vortex of mismanagement sucking the life out of what once stood as a model franchise. And only now, under general manager Andy MacPhail’s stewardship, is the cannonball hole in the bow fixed and the ship ready for righting.

Ovechkin vs. Clownie

With a little under 10 minutes left in the Caps' 7-4 loss to the Lightning, and the score just that, Steve Downie - who will henceforth be referred to as Clownie, for this is his only role on the ice - snapped Alex Ovechkin's stick. Or so our beloved captain thought. Either way, the zebras kept their whistles in their pockets. Then...well, read the 100% accurate account below to find out what followed, and to understand why I have fallen in love with this team. 

***

Ovie: You snap stick. I no like.

[Ovechkin skates toward bench to get new stick.]

Ovie: I get new stick. Where is puck?

[Ovechkin locates the puck in the right corner and skates toward it at full speed.]

Ovie: I come for puck. I come for your head!

[Ovechkin slams into Clownie at full speed.]

Clownie: Dear Lord! Where am I? Did I just get hit by a freight train? Should I just wail away at anyone in close proximity like the sucker-punching, marginally skilled loser that I am and see what happens?! You betcha!

[Clownie uppercuts Ovechkin and even drops his gloves. Ovechkin is enraged and fights back.]

Ovie: Who strike me? I hit back! I eat you for food! Roar like lion! Russian machine never break!

[Unfortunate referee steps in front of Ovechkin, akin to a zookeeper attempting to restrain a furious beast.]

Ovie: I see you soon.

Clownie: Thank you, refs, from the bottom of my heart, for saving my life.

[Clownie and Ovechkin are sent to the penalty box for matching roughing minors.]

Clownie: Well, I guess the only way to save face is to skate out of the box like a damn fool and instigate a fight with an infinitely more skilled player who has never been in an NHL fight before. Can't lose that one, right? Man, I'm so effing sweet!

[Ovechkin and Clownie skate out of the box.]

Clownie: You wanna go? Huh? Huh? Huh?!

[Clownie hooks Ovechkin and jabs his stick into his gut.]

Ovie: I give you last chance to go away. Shoo, before I crush you face.

[Clownie does not stop.]

 

Ovie: Okay, you no listen, time for me to crush you face.

[Ovechkin and Clownie drop gloves. Ovechkin takes off his helmet like a man. Clownie does the same, but like a girl.]

Ovie: Come, little boy. Ha, look at little guy try be tough!

[Out of nowhere, Matt Bradley races onto the scene.]

Bradley: You kidding me, punk? I will end you! You hear me, I will end you! Get the hell away from my boy, bitch!

[Bradley pummels Clownie. Ovie looks on - confused, but proud.]

Ovie: Lucky little boy, I no crush you now, my friend crush you. I squash you later time. Like bug.

[Bradley and Ovechkin sit in the penalty box briefly, before Bradley is given a game misconduct for being the third man in an altercation.]

Ovie: Thank you, friend. You are good teammate.

Bradley: No sweat, bro. You'd do the same for me.

***

Yea, so that last part's a little cheesy. And there's certainly no immediate reason to celebrate after tonight - we did just lose 7-4 to the Lightning.

But great teams always have that one moment in a long season in which it is positively clear that what they're striving for is far more important than a single game. A turning point, if you will.

Sure, we got our butts handed to us tonight. But in stepping up for each other, for themselves, for the red, white, and blue, the Caps showed just how strong of a bond they share as teammates.

That camaraderie will be essential to any long playoff run. It's the stuff of Stanley Cup Champions.

UPDATE: A better version of this exact story can be found here.


[Images via ESPN]

Two Teams Headed in Opposite Directions

What a trying week it's been for the Washington Wizards; what a wonderful week it's been for the Washington Capitals.

On the one hand, a team's biggest star was suspended indefinitely.

On the other, a team's (and league's) brightest star was named captain indefinitely.

The NBA works tirelessly to distance itself from infamous pranksters and 3-point locker room image assassins such as Gilbert Arenas.

The NHL loves nothing more than to showcase lovable personalities and generational talents such as Alexander Ovechkin.

Get used to these faces.

But who really cares what anyone else thinks? I certainly don't. After all, as fans, love for our favorite teams is usually unconditional and only increases with time. The longer you spend following a team, the more you grow to love it. Often times, the more you suffer, the stronger the bond. And, as DC sports fans, we've grown accustomed to the agony of defeat.

As is the case with every other sports junkie, my general, everyday disposition fluctuates based on the performances of my favorite teams. I win some. I lose some. My fanaticism is my peril.

Which brings me back to the Verizon Center's top dogs - and no, I'm not talking about the Mystics and Hoyas.

The Wizards and Capitals have been headed in opposite directions for a long while, and it has become a reality this year more than ever before.

Below are the results of the Wizards' and Capitals' last 10 seasons (excluding the the canceled 2004-4005 NHL season), with above-.500 seasons in green, sub-.500 seasons in red, and trends and playoff performances noted for your viewing pleasure.

[Note: 2009-2010 has been projected based on current records.]

As you can see, the Caps and Wizards have both been above .500 in the same season just once (2007-2008) in the last ten years. Coincidentally, they've both been under .500 in the same season only once (2003-2004) in that same time period.

The trend column, however, is the most troubling to me. The Capitals have improved just about every season since the lockout in 2004-2005. In the same period, the Wizards have improved just twice based on sheer numbers, but numbers don't really tell the whole story there.

2007-2008: Are two extra wins and another first round loss at the hands of the Cleveland Cavaliers an improvement? Not to me.

2009-2010: Even if you disregard the Gilbert Arenas disaster, a potential nine extra victories but still lottery-bound-and-hopelessly-over-the-luxury-tax squad will never be considered an improvement from the prior season. No matter how bad that prior season was.

What we have here is a classic case of two teams headed in opposite directions. The Capitals have a home-grown, talented but gritty, determined yet boisterous, young but adequately experienced club that is vying for their first ever Stanley Cup and the right to put DC back on the map as a respectable sports town.

The Wizards? Well, no need to elaborate...

Wild Card Weekend Picks

So I'm a little late again thanks to a work schedule leaving me without the interwebz, but better late than never. I actually had my picks finished, but didn't have time to post yesterday.

On to the picks..........FO's 'locks of the week' are 10-13 with 1 'lock' this week, their 'reasonable' picks were 31-40, and their 'stay away' picks were 86-68. Please note that differences in total games picked is a result of us using slightly different spreads. FO is 2-0 after yesterday's games, the Sports Guy is 0-2, and the DCLS is 1-1.

The standings (with pushes excluded):
Sports Guy: 10-6 last week 133-116 overall (53.4%)
FO: 8-7 last week, 127-121 overall (51.2%)
DCLS: 1-0 last week, 112-122 overall (47.9%)

As usual, the FO picks are listed in order of confidence with home teams in CAPS.

1. Green Bay +3 over ARIZONA - I love the Packers here, and FO has them with a 75% chance of winning straight-up. The Packer strength is their CBs, which is a bad matchup for the Cards, who rely on Fitzgerald and Boldin to carry them. With Boldin out or not close to 100%, this one almost seems too easy.


2. New York Jets +3 over CINCINNATI - FO liked the Jets straight-up here, with a 56% chance of winning and were indeed right. I still hate the Sanchize.......
   


3. DALLAS -4 over Philadelphia - FO had Dallas with a 70% chance of winning, and I'm actually surprised this one wasn't higher up on the list. On the bright side, Philly lost and still sucks. On the other hand, we can't tell Dallas fans that we've had more recent playoff success.
   


4. Baltimore +3.5 over NEW ENGLAND - FO has the Pats straight-up, with a 62% chance of winning, but guess who their #1 team is? That's right, the Ravens. I'll take the points, but have no idea what to expect here.
   

(Image courtesy of thegreatwahl.com)

Don't Get Your Hopes Up

Finally, a Redskins offseason in the hands of a competent pair (Mike Shanahan and Bruce Allen) instead of a dimwitted duo. A pair that will have a plan, implement it, draft wisely, demonstrate patience, and develop players. Or will they?

We all know that Shanahan (138-90 career W-L, 8-5 Postseason record) and Allen have been successful on their own. But can they coexist together, with Snyder, and within the NFC East? I'm not so optimistic.

The new power structure atop the Redskins organization is bizarre and disaster already foreseeable. Bruce Allen was hired as GM, but all the football decisions are being left to Shanahan. Um, what? Per Adam Schefter, who appears once every 4 minutes on ESPN, Snyder is leaving all football decisions in the hands of his two new hires. Sure, Adam. So basically, Bruce Allen is in charge of the team, except when Shanahan says otherwise, and except when Snyder decides to sign Free Agent Y for $800 million over the next 17 seasons. This is going to be fun.

And I'm not so optimistic about Shanahan as a coach/personnel guy. Shanahan inherited the Broncos Super Bowl rosters, and then after Elway retired built his teams around smaller and quicker zone-blocking offensive linemen, and zero defense. Everyone in DC is clamoring with Hogs-nostalgia for a sturdy offensive line that will take us into the 2020s. Will Shanahan adapt to the bruising NFC East style or try to impose his zone blocking scheme on it? Or will it be an awkward mix that completely fails? One offseason, the last place Browns cut their entire defensive line, and Shanahan signed them all one by one. The Broncos remain one of the league's worst defenses year-to-year, and that's all thanks to Shanahan.

When newcomers arrive in DC, fans become impatient and Snyder's deep pockets tempt those in charge to make the quick fix. But we need something different. We need a team built soundly and developed patiently. This will require three giant egos to coexist, will require Allen and Shanahan to work together towards constructing a sound and deep roster on both sides of the ball, and will require unprecedented patience on Snyder's part. Making it work won't be automatic. It will take time, and it might fail. If recent history has taught us anything, it probably will.

Don't be tempted by the big-name hire. It doesn't mean anything until we see the results.

John Carlson's OT Game Winner

To beat Canada, 6-5, in the World Junior Championship. This is one Caps prospect we are super excited about. USA, baby!

Our New Captain

Caps Half-Season Poll Results

The majority of you put the Caps in the A/A- range, with a few of you none too pleased by their recent trend (see B, B-, and C), and one asshole who is clearly a Penguins fan weighing in with his unwanted opinion (F).

The average GPA they received from DCLS viewers was a 3.57, just below an A-. In consideration of DC's misery the past decade, anything resembling this type of performance the second half of the season would be a major accomplishment.

Assuming, of course, it precedes a Stanley Cup.

Tonight: Canadiens @ Caps, 7 ET

Hoping for a Felony

A few days ago, I was about to write something on how it is time to give up on the season and this team, and start the rebuilding process. I have actually been calling for a rebuilding for the past 2 seasons, and the run of close losses to bad teams had put us at a record of 10-20, which was only 3-4 games out of a playoff spot, but about 14 games from being in contention to do anything in the playoffs.

I am of the 'championship or bust mentality' and as many of you know, the Wiz are in an awkward situation because we need to rebuild to have a chance for a championship, but have 1 albatross of a contract that is preventing us from doing so. That 1 contract, of course, belongs to a nut-job named Gilbert Arenas, aka Hibachi, aka Agent Zero (as I said, nut-job).

Outside of the Pistons a few years ago, and the Celtics a couple years ago, every NBA championship team and contender has a top-5 or top-10 player. These elite players are generally acquired at the very top of the draft, so a team stuck in mediocrity is unlikely to ever get one of these guys. My opinion has thus been that the Wiz should trade away all of the other players on the team and try to get a few pieces in place before Arenas's contract expires in 4.5 years. This method is certainly unorthodox, but at least the rebuilding effort will have started. We will have a few bad seasons and thus lottery picks through this method, and maybe will hit the jackpot in the draft lottery in the next 3 years. This rationale is why I freaked out when the Wiz essentially gave up Ricky Rubio and Dajuan Blair in the draft. Sure, we'd have some veterans, but I think Rubio and Blair could combine with Blatche, McGuire, Young, and McGee to give us a few parts of an elite rotation. When you consider that we could get even more young talent from trading Jamison, Tough Juice, and Haywood, the idea suddenly gets very exciting.

That problem is that this young core would have to play with Agent Zero, who in addition to his atrocious contract, also poses the issue of preventing the team from truly tanking enough to likely get a top draft pick. My theory/hope was that there is always the slight chance that the Wiz will somehow be able to rid themselves of Agent Zero's contract, hopefully through him playing well enough to attract anybody to take him in a trade. Now, everyone has seen the news, and I don't want to jinx anything, but Gil might actually be so stupid that after duping the Wiz into giving him this $111 million contract, he's giving us a way to get out from under all that money. You want to know my first thoughts after reading that it was Gil involved in that 'standoff'? First, I thought, 'what an idiot, this team is a train wreck', and then I thought, 'hey, will this allow us to somehow get out of Gil's contract?'

I don't exactly have a law degree, but it has been well-reported that if Gil can be pinned with a felony, then the Wiz can void his contract and jumpstart the rebuilding process. A felony seems to be a stretch, but Gil has already been in trouble with the league and law for possessing a gun, and I can always dream.

Gil has been a light in the dark of DC sports for a few years, and even provided hope while injured, but I can't help but root against him here. Not only is his performance undeserving of that contract, but anyone stupid enough to put 4 guns in public view does not deserve that kind of money. A misdemeanor seems likely, but will not be enough to change the fortunes of this team. Call me an asshole, but I'm rooting for the worst for Gil, which will be the best for the Wizards.

(Image courtesy of www.sitv.com)

Week 17 Picks (Late Edition): Happy New Redskins Season!

Just one awful game today, and we were are finally free and back to being offseason champions. I was away and unexpectedly without internet access for the weekend, so was unable to post picks. Better late than never I say (see Cerrato, Vinny), so here are the picks even though all but 1 of the games have already happened. I know this sounds ridiculous and pointless, but if you are gambling on week 17 in any game that does not have playoff implications for both teams, then you are probably really excited right now.

On to the picks..........FO's 'locks of the week' were 9-11 with 3 'locks' this week, their 'reasonable' picks were 30-38, and their 'stay away' picks were 80-65. FO does take into account that starters will sit. Please note that differences in total games picked is a result of us using slightly different spreads.

The standings (with pushes excluded):
Sports Guy: 8-7 last week 123-111 overall (52.5%)
FO: 11-4 last week, 119-114 overall (51.1%)
DCLS: 7-8 last week, 111-122 overall (47.6%)

As usual, the FO picks are listed in order of confidence with home teams in CAPS. Given that I did not post my picks before any of the games occurred, I will only take credit for 1 pick, which is the Skins over the Chargers, because I pick the Skins every week. Considering analysis is pretty pointless right now, I will just track the record of FO through their picks.

1. Green Bay +3.5 over ARIZONA: 1-0
   
2. Jacksonville +1 over CLEVELAND: 1-1
   
3. Baltimore -10.5 over OAKLAND: 1-2
   
4. New England +7 over HOUSTON: 1-2-1
   
5. Cincinnati +10 over NEW YORK JETS: TBD
   
6. New Orleans +8 over CAROLINA: 1-3-1
   
7. San Francisco -7 over ST. LOUIS: 2-3-1
   
8. Kansas City +11 over DENVER: 3-3-1
   
9. Philadelphia +3 over DALLAS: 3-4-1
   
10. SEATTLE +4.5 over Tennessee: 4-4-1
    
11. Chicago -3 over DETROIT: 5-4-1
    
12. Pittsburgh -3 over MIAMI: 6-4-1
    
13. Atlanta -2.5 over TAMPA BAY: 7-4-1
    
14. Indianapolis +8.5 over BUFFALO: 7-5-1
    
15. Washington +4 over SAN DIEGO: 8-5-1
    
16. New York Giants +8 over MINNESOTA: 8-6-1

Picks will continue through the playoffs; with FO finally over .500, maybe we should get a little excited.......

(Image courtesy of product.images.fansedge.com)