This Just In....Oh, I Already Knew That....

Just finished the WaPo sports section and came across a funny little table that lists MLB team pitching statistics by team ERA, and well, whaddya know? The Nats are the worst staff in the NL, and O's are the 2nd worst in the AL, boy didn't see that coming.

Details on the Nats:
-2nd-to-last in strikeouts in the NL, ahead of only the Pirates.
-2nd-to-last in walks, only the Mets have issued more.

Orioles:
-Worst in the league in HRs surrendered, a whopping 11 ahead of the next-to-worst Angels.
-Worst in strikeouts.
-Last in the league in shutouts, with 2 on the year.

The Anchorman and the cavalry can't come soon enough.

(Image courtesy of cardboardkings.com)

Worst Nationals Jersey Ever

As pathetic as the Nationals have been, their short existence in DC and the expectance of their inteptitude has led to this being our only worst jersey list being under 10, because frankly, we can't come up with any others.

Again, the criteria for our list is a jersey that would make fellow fans either:

-Angry
-Disgusted
-Think the guy wearing the jersey is an idiot

As before, please note that any jerseys that are funny bad are not included. Jerseys are is listed in reverse order (least terrible to most terrible):

9) Brad Wilkerson #6 - Not something horrible, but a reminder of a guy who seemed to have so much promise and now is in baseball oblivion.

8) Alfonso Soriano #12 - He had a fine Nationals 'career', but his presence contributed to a team going nowhere, and then Bowden was unable to trade him for anything, let alone anything useful. Just a symbol of the Bowden era that is tough to swallow.

7) Tim Redding #17 - He might seem a little out of place to you, but that is why I have a story. At the semi-tender age of 15, my friend's brother was at an MLB All-Star game party in Houston (poor guy, I know) and walking around with a pen trying to get some autographs from players in attendance. The room was filled with MLB All-Stars past and present. Everyone was having a jolly-good time until my friend's brother suddenly heard someone yelling at him from about 10 feet away: "Hey put that pen away! Some of us are wearing nice clothes, this shirt costs $300!" This rant appeared to creep out even the women at the party just looking for pro athletes to pay their child support, in addition to any normal person who heard the journeyman. Now, I know what you're thinking, Tim Redding was an All-Star?!?, not exactly, he just happened to be a member of the Astros that year, although that's probably not what he told the ladies. Tim, you idiot, that pen was only going near the good players.

6) Adam Dunn #44 or Ryan Zimmerman #11 "Natinals" - Just an embarrassment, and I know this has happened before to other teams/players, but just seems like the Yankees and Red Sox avoid this type of brain fart. This would be higher up the list, but has some ironic potential, so not all bad.

5) Ryan Church #19 - He is either anti-semetic or just a moron, but either way, supporting anybody who says something like that is a bad move.

4) Anybody on the team not named Zimmerman from 2005-2008 - This team was just terrible, and there was no one on the roster who brought any hope or reason to purchase their jersey. Anybody buying one of these jerseys is also clearly new to being a baseball fan, so just unknowledgeable, or switching teams to support, so lacks loyalty. Either way, this jersey is a direct indictment of the person wearing it. The Montreal Canadians have 'The Holy Cloth', but maybe this was 'the damned cloth'.

3) Ryan Zimmerman(n) #11 or Jordan Zimmerman #27 - In case you missed it, both of these are spelled wrong, and this is not an uncommon occurrence for a team whose best 2 young players until a certain #1 pick signed have long last names that are proncounced the same, but spelled 1 letter differently. DC Sports Blog had something on this with pictures, but I can't find it.

2) Lastings Milledge #44 - A once-possible face of the franchise, but not exactly the type of guy you want leading your marketing efforts. He stunk, will continue to stink, and is a symbol of faded hopes. You hear that Elijah Dukes?!?

1) Vinny Castilla #9 - An abysmal contract that never seemed like a good idea. As soon as this was signed, it foretold of numerous bad decisions by Bowden that have led to this team being an absolute joke since arriving in DC.

Dishonorable Mention:
-Cristian Guzman #15 - If not for the past couple seasons when his BA spiked, he would DEFINITELY have been #1. This contract seemed worse than the Castilla one when it was signed; he was literally possibly the worst regular hitter in MLB history until last year.

-Elijah Dukes #34 - There is still some promise, but he is running out of time to figure this thing out. And by thing, I mean life.

Looking back, this list is just sad, not as anger-inducing as the others. I think the general disinterest in the Nats keeps me less emotional; my hopes haven't gotten high enough yet to be crushed.

As always, bring on the debate about the list!

(Image courtesy of totalsports.com)

ESPN Picks Wizards as "Team Turnaround"

And hopefully doesn't jinx them in the process. Crap.

Love This Commercial

On Buck Showalter's Realignment Proposal

Couldn't have said it better myself:

"The NFL realigned its structure before the 2002 season, reassigning 11 teams within eight new divisions. That's worked out pretty well. The integrity of the MLB schedule could use an overhaul. Think the current schedule is fair or balanced?

Go ask the Orioles. Because of the current format's emphasis on divisional play, the Orioles have to play the Yankees, Red Sox and Rays 18 times EACH. That adds up to 54 games against those three teams, meaning Baltimore is forced to play one-third of its schedule against three of the best teams in baseball. That's ridiculous. You think the Brewers or the Astros or any NL Central team faces a divisional schedule even remotely as difficult? The balance is completely out of whack." --Steve Berthiaume, ESPN

The Redskins Look.........Good?

Okay, so we don't totally suck. I also realize now that last week's Ravens game wasn't boring because the presason is boring, it was boring because the Zornstar and co. walked out at the beginning of the game and took a huge dump on the 50 yard line (actually, that would have been really exciting).

For those of you who missed it, the game opened with a wimpy 3-and-out against the full-strength defending Super Bowl champion defense. But then, a moment of inspiration from Zorn, who had made it relatively clear that he wanted the first-team offense to get a good amount of reps tonight: a fake punt. Not something we would normally want to practice or show, but it allowed JC, CP, and the bunch to get a few more plays...and man did we take advantage. We marched right down the field, having little trouble with the Steelers' rush. Yes, Ladell Betts was stuffed on 2nd and 3rd down from close, but that would usually be Portis, and I wouldn't let those two stuffs override an otherwise great drive against the best team in the league last year. Going for 6 seemed like an easy decision, but I think Zorn wanted to finally get some points on the board and ensure we kept the momentum. The 2nd drive was back to a wimpy 3-and-out, but there was a more than enough there to make me believe in this offense.

The first-team D kept that momentum going from the FG, albeit against a Steelers offense that is far from prolific when full strength, and downright bad without Big Ben...and this is me trying to blockout Byron Leftwich torching us last year. The D line was all over Charlie Batch, with Haynesworth looking well worth his contract. Rak continued to look great with the first teamers. The D also was shredded by the pass on the 2nd drive, but again, you can see this D being an absolute terror.

Yeah, it's the preseason, and the first units each only went 1-for-2, but against a similar opponent from last season, it's hard not to see the strides of progress to the point that we can at least compete with anybody in this league. That all-too familiar taste for Skins fans is hope, but maybe this time we don't have to take it with a grain of salt.

Other notes:
-Kick/punt coverage and returns were awful. This is particularly embarassing when you realize that guys are playing for their jobs on these units.

-Orakpo continues to shine rushing the qb.

-Malcolm Kelly has the best hands on the team.

-Devin Thomas still doesn't look ready and he is running out of time to figure it out.

-DJ Hacket had to make that catch at the end of the 2nd quarter. If he isn't playing teams, and his birth certificate is legit, then he needs to be great as a WR. I am a believer, as he has been a Football Outsiders metric king in the past with great success rates in limited opportunities, but injuries have prevented him from getting taking the next step.

-Marko Mitchell has been getting love from the Wapo and apparently his teammates for the 5th receiver spot, and looked pretty damn good on that TD catch. Even though his feet were a bit sloppy, it was a nice catch.

-Colt Brennan is going to get a run for his money for the 3rd qb spot from Chase Daniel.

-I don't know him personally, but I have to think Fred Davis needed that forced fumble and TD.

(Image courtesy of the AP via ESPN.com)

Ray Lewis, Jesus, and...Brian Orakpo?

Let's be real here.

Skepticism of the Redskins' plan to create a special hybrid role for Brian Orakpo, the 13th overall pick in the 2009 NFL Draft for all you n00bs out there, has been rampant in the annals of the DC Landing Strip.

Let's be real one more time.

Our doubt was, and still may be, legitimate. Read: the Redskins' organization hasn't necessarily been a well-oiled machine since the Snyder era began in June of 1999, or as most of you probably remember it, the first day of elections for the European Parliament. What a crazy day?!

Frankly, there hasn't been much precedent for a stud-college-DE-turned-pro-LB in a 4-3 defense, although the transition has proven successful in several 3-4 schemes. So before we crowned Orakpo the next Terrell Suggs...err DeMarcus Ware...err Joey Porter...err James Harrison...we thought it appropriate to take a few free shots at the top of the Skins organization. A reflex is a reflex, people.

Is it time for us to eat our words?

***

Before I go any further I must shamelessly admit to a shameful history of jumping ahead of myself in a desperate search for hope in this championship starved sports town. Screw you, at least I'm not an Eagles fan.

And before you read any further swallow this grain of salt: we are only a few weeks of training camp and one preseason game into a very long season of football.

But it appears Brian Orakpo, the same Brian Orakpo of once-speculated-idiotic-creation-of-hybrid-position-in-a-4-3-defense, has brought to the table an element that the Redskins defense has lacked since we lost Sean Taylor* two seasons ago:

Fear.

Piss-in-your-pants, eyes-in-the-back-of-the-head, alligator-body fear.

(Did you really think this post wouldn't be littered with anti-Philly references? Didn't think so.)

Coaches have been pleased with his progress up to this point but understand there is room for improvement, especially in coverage.

Jim Zorn has acknowledged his exceptional speed and "think[s] we got a player there." Really, coach? I sure hope you did with the 13th overall pick.

One particular play stood out during the Skins excruciatingly boring 23-0 loss to Baltimore. It can be found at the 1:50 mark of this video recap. Orakpo absolutely drills Ravens QB Troy Smith, barely able to release the ball before smacking the turf. That play highlighted the attributes we can only hope Orakpo brings to the table every down on every Sunday: speed, strength, and intimidation.

Jason Campbell marvelled at how we have two players that opposing quarterbacks shutter at the sight of in Orakpo and Big Al Haynesworth. Combine the fear those two instill with an overdue breakout season for LaRon Landry and steady play from the rest of the defense, including a rejuvenated Phillip Daniels, and it looks like the Skins have the makings of a championship caliber defense.

Let's analyze those two words for a minute: championship caliber. The defense was outstanding last year; there is no denying that. But calling it championship caliber would be foolish given the lack of turnovers created and even one guy whom opposing offenses had to game-plan around on EVERY SINGLE PLAY.

This year could be different, and god-willing it will be. The key to it all, though, the Redskins X-Factor, if you're a fan of that cliched term, is Orakpo.

Hell, even a few Skins rookies were hazed today. Among those hazed? Not Orakpo. Perhaps his time is coming, but the only two people I'd be less likely to duct tape to a goalpost than Orakpo are Ray Lewis and Jesus. And I'm a wiz with the duct tape.

UPDATE: Orakpo taped to goal posts. Go figure.

*If you have not seen this video, watch it. And then watch it again. And again. Nothing more cathartic than a tribute to #21 with Enya playing in the background and a box of tissues on hand.

[Title Image via All Hail Redskins]

Whew! That Was Close

The Nationals got it done, as 1st overall pick Stephen Strasburg agreed to terms at literally the 11th hour: 4 years, $15.67 million. The deadline was midnight last night.

The cash monies blew away the previous record contract doled out to a draft pick ($10.5 million for Mark Prior), and yet, Scott Boras is crying and stomping around his office like mommy wouldn't let him get rainbow sprinkles on his ice cream. Com-pro-mize?

And now, consider me a Nats fan. Where do I get my membership card?

ZAUN Trade Completed: O's Receive 1B Prospect John Hughes From Tampa Bay
Rico Fantastic has locked himself in the bathroom and refuses to come out. It's OK, Rico. I'm sure the O's are about to trade Wieters for ZAUN.

Worst Oriole Jerseys Ever

Welcome to the 2nd part in this painful series of worst jerseys for all of our beloved professional DC-area teams. This Oriole list was surprisingly more difficult than the Redskin one; we had far more worthy candidates for our bottom-10 thanks to almost 25 years of misery. I kind of felt like I was on the therapist's couch here, unearthing repressed memories. I learned a lot about myself through this journey.

Again, the criteria for our list is a jersey that would make fellow fans either:

• Angry
• Disgusted
• Think the guy wearing the jersey is an idiot
  

As before, please note that any jerseys that are funny bad are not included. Our bottom 10 is listed in reverse order (least terrible to most terrible):

10) Armando Benitez #49 - The exact opposite of clutch. He came in during critical playoff games and gave up homers to pipsqueaks like Marquis Grissom and Tony Hernandez. He also gave up the Jeffrey Maier "homer" and cared more about his pitch speed than, you know, getting batters out. He'd be higher on the list if not for his impressive beat-down of some punk-ass Yankees fools in May 1998. I really hated this guy.

9) Ben McDonald #19 - He was supposed to be the next Nolan Ryan. Instead, he was the first Mark Prior. Amnesia is the only excuse for owning this jersey.

8) David Segui #23 - Beefed up on ol' Vitamin S then stole a huge contract at the end of his career from the O's. I used to call him "Popcorn Man" when I was a kid because he looked like a classmate of mine who always smelled like popcorn. That's irrelevant information, but the point is: screw that smelly kid.

7) Adam Loewen #29 - A monumental pitching bust. The lanky canuck finally gave up pitching and in a gentlemen's agreement with the O's, opted out of his Major League contract to sign a minor league one and learn to hit. After milking O's instructional league coaches for hitting tips, he reneged on his word and fled to the Blue Jays. So in sum, he robbed the O's of $4 million, never panned out, then stabbed them in the back. Good times.

6) Curt Schilling #43 - Mike Mussina, Jimmy Key, Scott Erickson, David Wells, and Schilling rounded out the rotation of the 1997 World Series Champion Baltimore Orioles, who went wire-to-wire first place before crushing the Marlins in 4 games in the Series. What a year! Except it didn't happen, because O's brass thought it prudent to mortgage the future (Steve Finley and Pete Harnisch were also shipped away) in 1990 for 3 abysmal seasons from...

5) Glenn Davis #37 - The "worst Oriole ever", this shmuck was supposed to be the power bat to get the Birds over the hump, and instead all he did was hump the trainer's table in between his infrequent and feeble at-bats. 24 HRs in 3 years before finally retiring...pretty sure Jeff Reboulet accomplished that in the late-'90s.

4) Sammy Sosa #21 - Buying this jersey was like voting for Bush in '04: if you didn't see the epic failure coming, you were a moron. The steroids were clearly wearing off at the end of his Cubs tenure, and he became another in a long line of over-the-hill veterans Angelos tried to plug in to milk a few more jersey sales wins from a broken roster. A line that started with:

3) Albert Belle #88 - Ended up as the worst contract in franchise history and one of the worst in MLB history. In addition to being an asshole, he barely played and succeeded in using a ton of our salary space for his giant ego/contract when a hip injury ended his career.

2) Tony Tarasco #1 - This is nothing against Tony, but this jersey can only bring the most painful memory in Oriole history, of that little anti-christ Jeffrey Maier stealing the ball over the wall to gift Jeter a HR and all but end the Orioles best chance at a championship since 1983.

1) Derek Jeter #2 - What is this all about? FTW:

Worst Orioles Jersey Ever. Please revoke this man's fan card. via Mr. Irrelevant.

***

Dishonorable Mention:

Larry Bigbie #3 - Did anyone get on this bandwagon? I hope not and this serves as a reminder of the years when a mediocore prospect was the best we had on an already bad team. Also: Mitchell Report.

Jay Gibbons #31 - Would have made the bottom-10, but I just feel bad for the guy now.

Miguel Tejada #10 - Yeah, he did steroids and lied about his age, but gave us some great service.

Sir Sidney Ponson #43 - The same as Tejada, but a more unlikeable guy. He performed at or above expectations while he was here and then proceeded to pain the Yankees as a member of their team, which barely kept him out of the bottom-10.

Brady Anderson #9 - Steroids and the self-promotion that led to gay rumors. I would liken the Brady Anderson era to the dutch rudder, it was fun (and not gay), but there was something very wrong about it.

Rodrigo Lopez #13 - Another great example of false hope. After bursting onto the scene in 2002 with 15 wins and finishing 2nd in the ROY voting to Eric Hinske (probably not a good sign in retrospect), saw his peripherals and performance decline and had a generally mediocore Oriole career. And now, he has a world series ring.....for Philly. Not to be confused with a Super Bowl ring.

Kris Benson #34 - When a rebuilding team trades a young starter (John Maine) for a mediocre, injury-prone 30-year-old, he had better have more than a smokin' hot wife. Unfortunately, that's about all Kris brought to the table.

Jeffrey Hammonds #11 - A fine career, but nothing close to the hope he instilled in Oriole fans as our savior.

***

So what do you think? Anyone we missed or who doesn't belong? Will the boiling water I'm about to pour down my throat hurt more than this list?